Ask FondA
Don’t fret a moment
longer! Our agony aunt
Fonda Cox is here to solve
your wedding woes…
Ask
DEAR FONDA, my soon-to-be
in-laws met on Jeremy Kyle. Shall I
mention it?
Darling, If they met on Jeremy Kyle it’s probably not
something you’ll ever need to worry about. The
likelihood of them actually remembering to attend
your wedding through their alcohol-induced haze is
practically non-existent. If they do attend, they’ll
probably gladly stand at the back of all the
photos as no one really wants to show off
their one-toothed smile. And if they can
stagger as far as the
reception,
just put a
blue sofa and a
crate of Special Brew
in the lobby and they’ll never actually
make it through to the banquet hall to
ruin the happiest day of your life.
Crisis averted.
DEAR FONDA , My fiancé wants his
cousin to be best man but I’ve
discovered he’s already been my
‘best man’ on Grindr. What's the
etiquette in this situation?
Oh my dear slutty reader, I came close to this
situation myself – my local Grindr community held a
day of mourning when I got married. Fortunately for
you, there are ways around this. Have you considered
getting married in a gimp mask to avoid being
recognised? (Actuall