I'm at the age where I appreciate a nice handrail!
Remember when we used to laugh at the commercial "I've fallen and I can't get up!"? Yeah, it's not so funny anymore....
Did you know that there's an app on your phone that makes you look ugly? It's called "camera"
At my age, rolling out of bed in the morning is the easy part. Getting off the floor is a whole other story.
Young enough to know I can, Old enough to know I shouldn't, Stupid enough to do it anyway!
I was gonna start dieting, but Halloween is coming up, then Thanksgiving and Christmas candy. Before you know it, it's BBQ season again and I'm not about to turn down a cheeseburger.
You ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say, "That can't be right."
Sometimes when you hurt, nobody sees your pain. Sometimes when you hurt nobody sees your sorrow. Sometimes when you cry nobody sees your tears. But fart just once........
The squirrels must be expecting a cold winter. They're gathering more nuts than usual.. Yesterday, my sister disappeared.
At my age the only pole dancing I do is to hold on to the safety bar in the bathtub.