The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.
When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
So, you drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill?
Keep doing your best everyday, and if no one is proud of you, be proud of yourself.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap 8 people at once.
People who ask me what I'm doing tomorrow probably assume that I even know what day of the week it is.
Sometimes I shock myself with the smart stuff I say and do, then there are times when I try to get out of the car with my seatbelt on.
My boss asked me to take an anger management class this year. I told him I'm angry enough with management as it is.
When I get old I am going to move in with my kids, make lots of noise, trash the house, pay no bills, and when asked to clean, pitch a fit!
If an egg is broken by an outside force, life ends. If broken by an inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from the inside.
Tequila is a Spanish word meaning..."I don't remember doing that."