The fitness trainer asked me, "What kind of a squat are you accustomed to doing?" I said, "Diddly."
I went down to the paint store to get thinner. It didn't work.
Life is not about being rich, being popular, or being perfect. It's about being real, being humble and being kind.
I love my pillow because it gives me different hairstyles very morning.
I went to a alcoholics anonymous meeting. Anonymous my butt. I knew everyone there!!
The biggest difference between money and time: You always know how much money you have but you never know how much time you have. Enjoy every moment of your life!
You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game? That's not allowed in bowling. I know that now.
Some stranger somewhere still remembers you because you were kind to them when no one else was.
The fact that my entire body cracks like a glowstick whenever I move and yet refuses to actually glow is very disappointing.
In Style are clothes that still fit.
Lead me not into temptation. Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a short cut.
Respect is for those who deserve it, not for those who demand it.