I don't call them new year's resolutions, I prefer the term, my casual promises to myself that I am under no legal obligation to fulfill.
I've always been in love with Bewitched. The younger me wished I could be Samantha. Now that I'm older, I discovered that I have turned into Aunt Clara.
Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places. And then wondering where you put them!
Be grateful that no matter how many desserts you eat, your earrings will still fit.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep until noon because I'm a problem solver.
I remember back in the day when "three times in one night" didn't mean trips to the bathroom.
To make a difference in someone's life you don't have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect. You just have to care.
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones.....That's why it's called a "cell" phone.
My wife got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.