Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. anger is bad, dump it. fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them.
Old age used to be all in my head now it's in my joints too.
The difference between me and Superman is.....He has super vision. I require supervision.
I'm not sure how many pieces of chocolate equals happiness. But so far it's not 25.
Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.
I got called 'pretty' today! Well the full sentence was "You're pretty annoying" but I only focus on the positive things.
This morning, my coffee looked at me and said: "Sorry, I don't do miracles".
The main function of your little toe is making sure all the furniture in the house is in the right place.
Tips on how to fall asleep in a living room chair. 1- Be old. 2- Sit in a chair.
I decided to go for a jog today....as I set off I heard clapping behind me. Then I realized it was just my butt cheeks cheering me on.