Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I'm not in a mental asylum. Then I take a good look around at everyone and realize.....maybe I am.
Don't wait until you're on your death bed to tell people how you feel. You could be too weak to raise your middle finger.
Sometimes I talk to myself and then we both laugh and laugh and laugh.
I don't know where you got your opinion but I hope you kept the receipt.
My kids keep laughing about my memory. They won't be laughing at Christmas when there's no eggs under the tree!
I am not an early bird or a night owl....I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.
Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and start being excited about what could go right!
Whatever you do today do it with the confidence of a 4 year old in a Batman T-Shirt!
I wasn't planning on going for a run today.......but those cops came out of nowhere.
Everyone has a hidden talent they don't know about until the tequila is poured.
I was not put on this planet to weather hardship. I'm here to delight and perplex people with my behavior.