You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, "I might as well pee while I'm here."
My ducks are absolutely not in a row. At this point I have no idea where my ducks even are.
How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it might take all day.
The most important lesson I've learned so far is.......Don't let anyone make you cruel. No matter how badly you want to give the world a taste of their own bitter medicine. It is never worth losing yourself.
Sometimes things don't work out as planned, they work out better.
I'm retired. I don't have to, I don't want to, you can't make me!
Sometimes laughing over the stupidest things with your best friends is the best therapy.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
I promise I haven't lost my mind. Half of it wandered off, and the other half went looking for it.
I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.
Being 20-something in the 70s was way more fun than being 70-something in the 20s is.