Faith
" Mom, you ' re just saying that now because you ' re disappointed that the chemo didn ' t work. How can you not try this treatment that could turn things around?" I was close to losing my composure. The food came and I knew I wouldn ' t even be able to take one bite.
" Diane, we have to talk about this. We keep talking around it but it ' s important for you to understand how I feel." Mom handed me a napkin just in case the tears did start to fall. " I know this is going to be hard for you to accept but I don ' t want any more treatment. I especially don ' t want to travel all the way across the country to try something that probably won ' t work, and be away from my family at the same time."
I started to protest but she stopped me, " No, just listen. Your dad and I talked about it last night and this is a decision we made together. I want to spend as much time as I have left with my family around me, in my own home, not in some New York City hospital.”
" I don ' t understand Mom," I said, " it just seems like giving up. You ' ve fought so hard for more than a year and now you want to stop? I ' ll have to accept it if this is what you really want, but it ' s going to take me some time." My tears finally came and wouldn ' t stop. I know I ' m going to have to find a way through this but I just don ' t know how.
Mom was playing with her food. Neither one of us felt much like eating.“ I’ ve been trying to find a way to explain this to you,” she said.“ It might be hard for you to
48 pieforseven. com | April 2013