We ' ve Got Answers.
P ckle
The clique that quietly controls open play. The partner who won’ t stop talking about her kids after every point. The friend who suddenly stops asking you to play. The player everyone avoids that no one knows how to confront.
Pickleball is building community and forging friendships. But whenever people gather, relationships can get
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Me This …
ADVICE FOR PICKLEBALL’ S TRICKIEST PEOPLE PROBLEMS
Dear Pickle Me This, complicated. Where’ s the rulebook for navigating the social side of the game?
That’ s where“ Pickle Me This” comes in! In each issue, I’ ll answer your questions about the awkward moments and everyday dilemmas happening on and off the court, so you can spend less time worrying about people and more time enjoying the play.
I started playing pickleball about three months ago because everyone said it was a terrific way to make friends. I love our games, the group chats, and the camaraderie on the court.
But I just saw a Facebook photo of almost everyone from our group having lunch. Judging by the sweaty shirts, they went straight from the courts. No one invited me!
Now I’ m wondering if I’ m just not considered part of the group. I’ m dying to ask why I wasn’ t included, but I don’ t want to make things awkward every time I show up to play. I love my spot.
What should I do?
Dear Stuck on the Sidelines,
You’ re not alone. Our school days may be behind us, but being picked for teams never ends. In this case, it’ s moved from PE class to the pickleball court... and social media.
Seeing that photo can sting more than an overhead smash to the chest, because pickleball isn’ t just a sport. It’ s a community. When others are enjoying lunch and laughs after a morning of dinks and drives, it’ s natural to wonder if you’ re missing out on something bigger. But before you assume you’ ve been excluded, consider this: Many after-game get-togethers aren’ t planned with precision. They happen because someone casually says,“ Anybody hungry?” while others are looking for a lost ball, taking a phone call, or putting their paddles away. Maybe a few players who parked next to each other decide to grab coffee.
Have a Question?
– Stuck on the Sidelines
by ERIN MANTZ
Sometimes it’ s simply those who lingered in the parking lot. In other words, it can be happenstance, not intention. Exclusion does happen, but our brains are remarkably good at filling in the blanks, and they rarely give us the benefit of the doubt.
Instead of asking,“ Why wasn’ t I invited?” ask yourself,“ Have I made it easy for people to include me?” And try this: After the next game, be the one to say,“ Anybody up for lunch?” That one invitation could change the dynamic. It lets people know you’ re interested in spending time together beyond the court. If the answer is no, try again another day. Friendships aren’ t built because someone extends one invitation. They’ re built through dozens of small moments of showing up— kind of like how you develop your serve, one game at a time.
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People problems?
We ' ve Got Answers.
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