Losing to
Win
It ’ s only when we lose , and embrace that loss , that the true work can begin .
By Rick Cipes
His face got tighter . You
could almost feel the grip on his paddle strangling it to death . When the ball came at him , he was way out in front , and he slammed it into the net ( again ), emitting a cry of anguish that echoed down through the valley . The herd of cattle below were like , “ What the heck was that ?” THAT was a man who doesn ’ t like to lose , and a pickleball player who hasn ’ t mastered the art of “ losing to win .”
You ’ ve heard all the famous quotes : “ Winning solves everything ,” “ Winning isn ’ t everything ; it ’ s the only thing ,” and “ Winning is the most important thing in my life , after breathing .” My take is that this kind of steadfast mindset is detrimental to the development of your pickleball game , because it is only when we lose , and embrace that loss , that the true work can begin . Michael Jordan once said , “ I ’ ve failed over and over again , and that is why I succeed .”
Winning is ingrained so deep in our culture that we feel less when we lose . But what if I were to say there ’ s no winning and losing , there is only the process . After all , “ winning ” and “ losing ” are just words . Sure , they carry great meaning , but what if you begin to see them as that — words . What if you see your pickleball game as a puzzle ? With a puzzle , there ’ s no winning or losing , there ’ s only eventual completion . Of course , as with a puzzle , you need to be able to foster patience with yourself and incorporate all the pieces that come your way — unless you just want to flip that puzzle off the table like a 5-year-old having a tantrum .
Don ’ t get me wrong , I love to win . But one of the adjustments I ’ ve made in my own athletic life is not playing to beat my opponent , but more so playing to maximize my own potential , and letting the chips fall where they may . The journey is so much more enjoyable that way .
When I am losing , I don ’ t try to fix it on the fly . Pickleball is much too rapid of a game to start thinking during play . If you do , there ’ s a good chance you ’ ll shoot yourself in the foot … then the other foot , the kneecap , the thigh , etc . If you can recognize it while it ’ s happening , that it just isn ’ t your day , take a deep breath and smile , maybe have some self-deprecating fun with it : “ Geez , the herd of cattle are even laughing at me .”
Then , once you ’ re home and relaxed , play the match back in your mind , so you can pinpoint exactly what went wrong . I often videotape my game , and then I have no problem noticing the issue ( s ). Short of recording it , take notes . And refer to those notes before the next time out , so they ’ re fresh in your mind .
I started out as just a banger , and I remember a day I got my butt whooped because I was popping up my dinks too much . I told a friend how cool it was . They were like , “ Huh ?” And I was like , “ Yeah , I got destroyed !” And then I went and spent the whole next week practicing my dinks against a wall .
Winning isn ’ t everything . Everything is everything . Embrace the whole . Have fun with it . •
Rick Cipes has written for over 40 publications , including the L . A . Times , Los Angeles Magazine and ESPN Magazine . You can follow the Inner Game of Pickleball group on Facebook , and on YouTube .