Thankfulness vs . Entitlement What better players don ’ t owe you on the court .
A VIEW FROM IN-BETWEEN THE SKILL LEVELS
Two years ago , I found Pickleball and fell in love . Like the majority of those who share the passion , I ’ ve been ambitious about getting better since day two . Many players have given me helpful input and time on the court . I assume — and hope — I expressed sincere thanks at the time . If I failed to do so , forgive me . Certainly anyone who donates his or her time , in any measure , should be thanked .
Obviously , I ’ m the beneficiary when the people helping or playing with me are giving more than they ’ re getting . I ’ m referring to players who are decisively better than me who choose to lend their knowledge and / or court time to help me .
We all know weaker players want to join (“ cut in ”) a game with stronger players — it ’ s rarely the opposite . But too often , a weaker player feels a better player owes him . Technically , a stronger player ’ s court time is just as valuable as his professional time . And although I may desire his time , I ’ m not owed it .
Let me put it another way . Assume you ’ re at a club dancing with your date , and I put you on the spot by asking you to dance with me . Are you rude for saying no , or am I rude for asking ? Whatever your answer , imagine I then utter something derogatory . Any clear-thinking person would recognize I ’ m in the wrong and you ’ re in the right to decline my request .
Because I ’ ve been in the skill zone between the 3.0s and the 4.5s for some time , I ’ ve had a chance to learn what the better players don ’ t want from me on the court .
We all know weaker players want to join (“ cut in ”) a game with stronger players — it ’ s rarely the opposite . But too often , a weaker player feels a better player owes him . Technically , a stronger player ’ s court time is just as valuable as his professional time . And although I may desire his time , I ’ m not owed it .
Imagine you and your partner are 4.0s , and you ’ re across the net from a 3.5 and a 4.5 . If you want the 4.5 to have any incentive to play with you , you genuinely must let the 4.5 in the game . I ’ m not talking about breaking the 4.5 ’ s toenails after you ’ ve pressed the 3.5 into an error and then blasted a shoulder-high forehand to the feet of the 4.5 whom you “ want to play with .” I ’ m talking about deliberately putting shots to the 4.5 , which will make the game harder on you . If you don ’ t want a tough game , why play with better players ?
Here ’ s a way I ’ ve found to minimize the social stress lopsided and potentially rude mismatched skills present . When your opponents ’ team has a clearly weaker player and your team has a lead of 3 points or more , sincerely try to hit every plausible second or third shot to the stronger player on the other side of the net . If you then get to a lead of 5 or more points , play persistently into the stronger player as if he or she was the weaker player . For lack of a better term , I call this “ 3 & 5 discipline .”
Using the 3 & 5-discipline , you ’ ll be amazed by how difficult it is for the 4.0s to finish better than a 2-point winner . What generally happens is all four players get a good number of shots in . Early in the game , the 3.5 benefits from the pressure the 4.0s apply , but then the 4.0s get schooled by the 4.5 . However , because 4.5 is somewhat being double-teamed by the 4.0s , the 4.5 has an added dimension of pressure to cope with . It ’ s not perfect , but at least the 4.5 has a chance to be in the game with pressure to overcome . It ’ s what we all want — but are never owed .
Let ’ s remember the important difference between being thankful and feeling entitled . •
MAY / JUNE 2018 | MAGAZINE 49