Thankfulness vs. Entitlement What better players don’ t owe you on the court.
A VIEW FROM IN-BETWEEN THE SKILL LEVELS
Two years ago, I found Pickleball and fell in love. Like the majority of those who share the passion, I’ ve been ambitious about getting better since day two. Many players have given me helpful input and time on the court. I assume— and hope— I expressed sincere thanks at the time. If I failed to do so, forgive me. Certainly anyone who donates his or her time, in any measure, should be thanked.
Obviously, I’ m the beneficiary when the people helping or playing with me are giving more than they’ re getting. I’ m referring to players who are decisively better than me who choose to lend their knowledge and / or court time to help me.
We all know weaker players want to join(“ cut in”) a game with stronger players— it’ s rarely the opposite. But too often, a weaker player feels a better player owes him. Technically, a stronger player’ s court time is just as valuable as his professional time. And although I may desire his time, I’ m not owed it.
Let me put it another way. Assume you’ re at a club dancing with your date, and I put you on the spot by asking you to dance with me. Are you rude for saying no, or am I rude for asking? Whatever your answer, imagine I then utter something derogatory. Any clear-thinking person would recognize I’ m in the wrong and you’ re in the right to decline my request.
Because I’ ve been in the skill zone between the 3.0s and the 4.5s for some time, I’ ve had a chance to learn what the better players don’ t want from me on the court.
We all know weaker players want to join(“ cut in”) a game with stronger players— it’ s rarely the opposite. But too often, a weaker player feels a better player owes him. Technically, a stronger player’ s court time is just as valuable as his professional time. And although I may desire his time, I’ m not owed it.
Imagine you and your partner are 4.0s, and you’ re across the net from a 3.5 and a 4.5. If you want the 4.5 to have any incentive to play with you, you genuinely must let the 4.5 in the game. I’ m not talking about breaking the 4.5’ s toenails after you’ ve pressed the 3.5 into an error and then blasted a shoulder-high forehand to the feet of the 4.5 whom you“ want to play with.” I’ m talking about deliberately putting shots to the 4.5, which will make the game harder on you. If you don’ t want a tough game, why play with better players?
Here’ s a way I’ ve found to minimize the social stress lopsided and potentially rude mismatched skills present. When your opponents’ team has a clearly weaker player and your team has a lead of 3 points or more, sincerely try to hit every plausible second or third shot to the stronger player on the other side of the net. If you then get to a lead of 5 or more points, play persistently into the stronger player as if he or she was the weaker player. For lack of a better term, I call this“ 3 & 5 discipline.”
Using the 3 & 5-discipline, you’ ll be amazed by how difficult it is for the 4.0s to finish better than a 2-point winner. What generally happens is all four players get a good number of shots in. Early in the game, the 3.5 benefits from the pressure the 4.0s apply, but then the 4.0s get schooled by the 4.5. However, because 4.5 is somewhat being double-teamed by the 4.0s, the 4.5 has an added dimension of pressure to cope with. It’ s not perfect, but at least the 4.5 has a chance to be in the game with pressure to overcome. It’ s what we all want— but are never owed.
Let’ s remember the important difference between being thankful and feeling entitled. •
MAY / JUNE 2018 | MAGAZINE 49