PHARMACY QUARTERLY
Issue 06
Pharmacy Horoscopes
by
Tonight: Sleepy sleeps time.
Taurus (Apr 20 -‐ May 20)
Sagittarius (Nov 22 -‐ Dec 21)
Your APA pharmacist has noticed that you have been fatigued from all
of that studying that you've been doing. The pharmacist prescribes a
continuous infusion of coffee over 2h for 7d.
Tonight: MORE STUDYING!!!
Given the trajectory of Titan around Saturn, you are consulted by your
colleague about the risk of transmission from needle stick exposures.
Lucky for you, you just had a lecture regarding blood and body fluid
exposure protocol. You will dazzle your colleague with all of your
knowledge.
Tonight: 70% of needle stick injuries are preventable! Just try to avoid
over-‐excited people holding an exposed needle.
Gemini (May 21 -‐ June 20)
Your House marathon has gone on far longer than you had anticipated
and you're worried about how much studying you have left to do. Don't
worry, House counts as studying because everyone has Lupus. Treat
them as such.
Tonight: Read up on Lupus.
Cancer (June 21 -‐ July 22)
If you make a wish over the next 22 minutes, it may or may not come
true depending on the location of Orion's Belt and your mental state at
this time.
Tonight: Be happy!
Leo (July 23 -‐ Aug 22)
COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE food food NAP
food food COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE
Tonight: INSOMNIA!!!!!
Virgo (Aug 23 -‐ Sep 22)
With the North Star shining brightly, it is indicative that you have an
exam on Monday. Being the model pharmacy student that you are, you
decide to skip that episode of Game of Thrones on Sunday night. Be
prepared to plug your ears to avoid spoilers.
Tonight: Rush home after the exam and catch up on TV.
Libra (Sep 23 -‐ Oct 22)
As Jupiter and Venus cross paths, you find that you are simply burnt out
from the endless amount of reading and have most likely developed
carpal tunnel. Considering that you took PHARM 427 at some point
during your education, you decide that NSAIDs will suffice for now and
are more conscientious about ergonomic hygiene.
Tonight: Wrap yourself in a snuggy and enjoy some wine
Scorpio (Oct 23 Nov 21)
Given the show that Venus is putting on in the night sky, you decide
that it is time to put your cell phone and any device that has access to
the Internet in a locked container. Let the studying commence!
Capricorn (Dec 22 -‐ Jan 19)
As the moon and Mercury put on a spectacle for the citizens of Earth,
ish hits the fan now that the media has gotten a hold of information
that emergency contraception may not be as effective for patients that
weigh greater than 80 kg. Considering that you are an empathetic
pharmacy student, you ease your patient's concerns and advise them
about alternatives.
Tonight: Learn more about your CHCs and the NuvaRing.
Aquarius (Jan 20 -‐ Feb 18)
We are now nearing the end of the semester and you find your heart
beating more rapidly than normal. After using your excellent pharmacy
skills (and realizing what is within your scope), you determine that you
are having anxiety about finals and don't need that beta-‐blocker after
all...Take a breather and r