I fear, if she answered, that I’d discover we are not the most intelligent species on the planet, that dogs are fully capable of speaking fluent “Doglish” at three months of age, and that they have been cursing at us since they started on dry food. I will discover that the annoying licking and chomping sound we’re awakened by in the middle of the night has nothing to do with necessity and everything to do with relieving boredom by seeing how long it takes us to crack. I might learn that when dogs pull on the leash, they're not only in a hurry to get to where they're going, they’re calling us slow, lazy cows under their breath. I am not Dr. Doolittle, but I can help break the communication barrier between you and your dog—and I can tell you why they bark and how to turn the volume down.
Dogs bark at people for several reasons. They bark at their human (as well as canine) friends to ask for play and attention. They bark to alert their family to the presence of someone outside the home. They bark at strangers to say, “stay away, this is my territory.” And they bark to announce that they’re hungry and want food. For the exception of traumatic barking, use a squirt bottle filled with water, giving the firm command “No Bark!” as you squirt a stream of water in the face or on the rump, always avoiding the eyes. If the squirt bottle has no effect because you have a “water dog” that will welcome the squirt as a game, place 5-6 pennies in an aluminum can, cover the top with duct tape and shake it in their face while firmly giving the command “No Bark!”. Never hit your dog for any negative behavior, as it will only break any bond of trust you and your dog have and it’s cruel and unnecessary punishment.