inspirational insights
3 STEPS TO DEVELOPING A HAPPIER MINDSET
BY NEIL PASRICHA
While researching resilience for You Are Awesome I found that in order to become more resilient , you need to cultivate a positive mindset first . Why ? Because the stronger we are mentally , the better we are able to bend - not break - when challenges come .
A positive mindset is like Optimism Insurance . It helps soften every blow you get from a nasty email , friend letting you down , or bad news story flying across the headlines .
So how do we develop a happier mindset ?
Let me answer in three steps :
STEP 1 : FLIP YOUR HAPPINESS MODEL
Our parents lied ! They said they wanted us to be happy but then also encouraged us to go to a good school , find a good job , and work hard for a promotion . Sure , everyone ’ s parents are different , but I would argue that most of us hear some version of this model told to us as children :
Great work → Big success → Be happy
You know , study really hard , get good grades , go be a doctor ! ( Are my Indian roots showing ?) Or simply work really hard , get a promotion , then be happy !
The first step to cultivating a positive mindset is flipping this model .
Based on research I share below , how does developing a happier mindset really work ?
Be happy → Great work → Big success
Yes , it ’ s the opposite ! A phenomenal paper called The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect : Does Happiness Lead To Success ? shows that if you ' re happy first ... then you do great work , because you ' re happier doing it ! You ' re 31 % more productive , have 37 % higher sales , and are three times more creative , amongst a host of other benefits .
So Step 1 is realizing that cultivating a positive mindset needs to happen first … and not as the result of work or success .
STEP 2 : COMMIT TO A “ 20 FOR 20 ” HAPPINESS CHALLENGE
So we know we have to be happy first . But … how ? Does anyone just wake up in a good mood every day ? I don ’ t ! Most people don ’ t . We have to work at it . It ' s like yoga . A practice . The goal isn ’ t to be perfect … the goal is to be better than before .
Luckily there are dozens of positive psychology studies that give specific , tactical practices that we can use to cultivate this mindset .
I often challenge people to commit to a “ 20 for 20 ” challenge which means you take one of these practices below and commit to doing it for 20 minutes a day for 20 days in a row . By then you have created a new happiness practice that will be harder to stop .
What are some of the practices ? I ’ ve listed five of my favorites below together with one study on each . Remember : These all take 20 minutes or less a day . And it ’ s a multiple-choice question . You don ’ t have to do them all ! Just pick one .
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