Perrysburg Pulse Magazine Perrysburg Pulse October | Page 26

D
THE REAL YOU
Chat With Tiff
on’t speak up. Don’t you do it. footage sometimes makes you want to look for that alternate ending.
You know what happens when you go against the
grain. A fight. A blow up. We are where we are because of the choices we make or the choices
we allow others to make for us. The ugly truth is you are the director
of your own movie. You get to choose the ending you want. STOP
allowing others to direct you. BUT how do you do that?
Then, the belittling sets in. The put-downs. The jokes.
Anything to make you feel less than worthy of having
a voice in the situation.
Angry words are spoken to make you feel worse. You start to defend
yourself and more hurtful words fly. You don’t understand how this
fight even started.
WHEN will the constant cycle of negativity stop?
WHY can’t I just be understood and appreciated for being me?
WHAT do I do so wrong to have so many nasty things said to me?
Arrrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!
Relatable?
It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend, a parent or family member, a
significant other, or even a coworker. We all deal with negative
influences in our life.
We tend to be people pleasers. We go with the flow. We don’t want
to make waves, because EVERY TIME we actually speak up on
something that is important to us, it feels like an eruption happens
from the bottomless fire pit of a volcano. It’s like we continuously
break our own hearts and put our own feelings aside to make others
happy.
These last two years have been rough. However, I can tell you the
inner peace that has come from making internal shifts has made me
feel like I have shed a layer of skin. I have finally begun to be OK
with revealing what has been hiding underneath.
Everything isn’t perfect.
Social media has a cruel way of portraying the highlight reels in
people’s lives while the drama unfolds behind the scenes. The extra
When you start to realize that you have been hiding . . . holding
back, you can start to accept that the world doesn’t revolve around
you. Not at all. LOL.
People don’t care as much as we think they do. We can sit here and
spend 20 minutes thinking of a post for Facebook, but then it gets
in our heads as we wonder if we should post it or not. Lord forbid a
follower is offended. We don’t want people to think less of us. Yet, by
not posting, we aren’t being our authentic selves either. We go back
to hiding.
HOW do I fix this?
I am not just a pretty face.
I have learned to stop comparing myself to everybody else. My
journey is not theirs. Theirs is not mine. Comparison is the thief of
joy. I don’t want to live my entire life stuck in the comparison trap
and not ever step into my true joy!!
These last couple of years I have learned that I no longer need
everyone else’s approval to just BE ME. I have had thirty-seven years
of life experiences to shape and mold me into the woman I am today.
Some good. Some bad. Some extremely scary and heartbreaking.
BUT I have always made it through.
I have learned that 99% of the things we tend to worry about never
happen. Worrying has become pointless. There will be meltdowns.
We all have them! Give yourself permission to be sad, mad, or
whatever. Then make a plan of action to figure it out. You don’t have
time to stay stuck in worry!
Never settle. Ever.
You are not mediocre. You weren’t created for mediocrity! Settling
will never advance you toward anything that your heart desires.
If you’re a parent like I am (four daughters!), you never want your
kids to see you settle. What are you teaching them? That the desires
of their hearts are pointless? NO! They are watching you navigate
through life. Show them what’s possible!
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