Perrysburg Pulse Magazine Perrysburg Pulse October | Page 17

Studies indicate that an intense positive experience leads us to frame ordinary experiences as less positive. Once you’ve landed a gold medal or won the lottery, it’s hard to take pleasure in finding a great parking spot or winning a video game. Tom was looking so hard for the perfect job and the ideal country that he failed to appreciate an interesting task and a great restaurant. Today, for the first time in more than a decade, Tom reports being—and appears to be—happy. Instead of pursuing happiness alone, he fell in love and got married. Rather than evaluating his happiness daily and hunting for his dream job, he’s finding flow and experiencing daily satisfaction in helping his wife set up a company. He’s no longer bouncing around from one continent to another, following the advice of psychologists Ken Sheldon and Sonja Lyubomirsky: “Change your actions, not your circumstances.” In Obliquity, John Kay argues that the best things in life can only be pursued indirectly. I believe this is true for happiness: if you truly want to experience joy or meaning, you need to shift your attention away from joy or meaning, and toward projects and relationships that bring joy and meaning as byproducts. AS THE GREAT PHILOSOPHER JOHN STUART MILL ONCE WROTE, “THOSE ONLY ARE HAPPY WHO HAVE THEIR MINDS FIXED ON SOME OBJECT OTHER THAN THEIR OWN HAPPINESS.” ABOUT THE AUTHOR Adam Grant has been Wharton’s top-rated professor for six straight years. He is a leading expert on how we can find motivation and meaning and live more generous and creative lives. He has been recognized as one of the world's 10 most influential management thinkers and Fortune's 40 under 40. He is the author of three New York Times bestselling books that have sold over a million copies and been translated into 35 languages. Give and Take examines why helping others drives our success and was named one of the best books of 2013 by Amazon, Apple, the Financial Times, and The Wall Street Journal—as well as one of Oprah's riveting reads and Harvard Business Review’s ideas that shaped management. Originals explores how individuals champion new ideas and leaders fight groupthink; it was a NO.1 bestseller praised by J.J. Abrams, Richard Branson, and Malcolm Gladwell. Option B, with Sheryl Sandberg, is a NO. 1 bestseller on facing adversity and building resilience. AdamGrant.net 17 17