WELLNESS
As parents of college students , it can be helpful to make space for conversations about aspects of a new environment . It is also helpful to consider our own feelings about the newness and our reduced control over our children ’ s experiences .
Of course , we want to give guidance on safety , time management and maintaining health — but we want to do it in a way that isn ’ t overly emotional or pressured . If we dump our own anxiety and worry on our adolescent children , we are not leaving enough room for our kids to share their own concerns .
Here are five ways to open the door to authentic conversations about navigating the new terrain :
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
When it comes to conversations about difficult and emotion-laden experiences , we all get a little “ keyed-up .” It is useful to spend some time getting our own nervous systems into neutral before introducing a topic that might be sensitive for us and for our adolescent / young adult children . Take some deep breaths , go for a walk and remind yourself that staying calm and clear will create a positive environment for healthy conversation .
STAY CURIOUS
As much as we think we know our loved ones , we can ’ t be mind-readers . There is always something interesting or unexpected to be shared when we are genuinely open to hearing it . Curious is not the same as interrogating , and — believe me — I have made the mistake of sounding interrogating at times . It takes some practice to be an active listener , but we all can do it . Invitational comments like , “ I ’ d love to hear more about that ,” or “ Thanks for sharing that with me ,” will go a long way in paving a road for future dialogue .
We are so accustomed to thinking about the responsibility of protecting and guiding our children that alarm bells go off when we hear something that sounds upsetting or unfamiliar or scary . But an emotional reaction isn ’ t going to promote continued conversation .
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