HUMANITY’S EMOTIONAL BOOKENDS
In writing this “smiling” sequel to
my earlier “crying” article, it dawned
on me that, despite obvious personal
differences, such impassioned, re-
markably similar emotions through-
out lifeʼs journey deserve the term
“bookends.” Both emotions seem
to depend on each individualʼs sen-
Larry Wonderling
sitivities, unusual sense of humor,
empathy, external parental influences, and probably their
DNA predispositions.
So hereʼs a worthwhile psychosocial exercise you may
find relevant to this article and your personal life. The next
time you take an elevator beyond one floor, observe the
other riders who typically tend to face the elevator doors
with no verbal exchanges or facial expressions, just vapid
stares straight ahead.
This has become especially obvious to us on passenger
cruises. As most of you probably know, Carol and I love
cruising, including the huge shipʼs camaraderie of passengers
and crew from all over the world. The ship quickly develops
into a neighborhood of mostly cheerful passengers and
friendly, accommodating crew, all with a flood of smiles
and laughter permeating the shipʼs “neighborhood.”
However, with typically eighteen decks and several
thousand passengers, there are an abundance of elevators
filled with silent, expressionless faces awaiting their floors.
Although this is probably a universal phenomenon, it finally
dawned on me while cruising that I had also succumbed to
this elevator custom many years ago. Thatʼs when I started
challenging my elevator conformist mode with a smiling
question to all those elevator zombies, at least on our
cruises: “Hello everybody,” and with a huge smile, “having
a good time?” Or, with even a bigger grin: “Have you ever
noticed that, in elevators, virtually everyone silently, with
somber expressions, avoid interaction as they sustain a
fixated stare?”
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Such unexpected comments from me, a total stranger on
a cruise, virtually always trigger robust laughter by a few,
along with broad smiles and nods by others, resulting in a
variety of cheerful replies, including goodbyes when they
reach their floor. Thereʼs also cheerful “youʼre the smiling
elevator guy,” later in the cruise.
Try it sometime just to see what happens. Having
approached such elevator silence for a few years now, it
always reminds me of peopleʼs exuberantly cheerful smiles
when openly confronted by another strangerʼs “smiling”
comments.
Incidentally, I remain convinced that such smiling ex-
pressions of empathic sensitivity to strangers can indeed
be a feeling-laden interpersonal elixir! In fact, I personally
believe both smiling and crying are cathartic cleansers that
prolong and truly innervate an otherwise drab existence! It
certainly seems to enrich my sense of being with the very
essence of my own tears and chuckles to all of those sad and
joyful memories.
By the way, I still havenʼt had similar elevator experiences
at home, probably because I doubt the PCC has any
elevators.
– Larry Wonderling, Ph.D.
Email: [email protected]
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pccnews Octob er 2017
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