PRESIDENT’ S Message
PRESIDENT’ S Message
My Journey to Find Work-Life Balance and Manage the Demands of the Legal Profession
Gregory P. Huber 2018-19 PBCBA President
The story I’ m about to tell is one that only a few people know and one I have been hesitant to share but with the recent attention on mental health and awareness in the legal profession, I feel it is important for more of us to speak up and share our stories. Growing up I remember my parents describing me as an easy-going kid who never let things bother me. As I got older I wore this easy-going, unflappable persona as a badge of honor. Indeed, it served me quite well as a new prosecutor and later as a civil trial attorney. As I transitioned to the civil practice, I remember eagerly accepting all assignments, the bigger and more difficult the better, and never letting the assigning partners know about my concerns or apprehensions. I worked crazy hours throughout the week, took work home and worked on the weekends. I did it without complaining because that’ s what real trial lawyers did. I did this when I was newly married. I continued to do it after my daughter was born. I even remember leaving a family get together early when a partner called to find out where I was( I was out of town visiting family on a pre-approved vacation) and told me“ I was in the big league now” and he needed me to get back to work on a project. I left my family vacation early and when I got home went straight to work on the project, never complaining to the partner because I was unflappable. Like most young lawyers, through the years I experienced many other“ stressful” situations which I managed without letting anyone know how it affected me. In fact, I’ m not even sure I knew that this“ roll with the punches”,“ never let them see you sweat” persona was taking its toll on me. But, about a decade into my legal career that all changed.
By this time, I was blessed to be at my dream job, working on cases that most lawyers would never be lucky enough to handle. I had grown as an attorney sharpening my litigation and trial skills, but I had not acquired any skills to manage the demands of the legal profession. Honestly, I didn’ t think I needed any of those skills because I was easy-going and unflappable. I remember just getting back in town from depositions, work was piling up at the office and I was going through a divorce – that was the day my journey to work-life balance began. I was sitting in my office and I felt this weird feeling in my chest. I ignored it. Then I felt it again. It wouldn’ t go away. I was having trouble breathing. I still tried to ignore it. With a family history of heart disease ignoring it was probably a really bad idea but I did, and it eventually went away. A few days later it happened again. I ignored it again and it went away for a little while, but it kept coming back. Finally, I decided“ it” wasn’ t going away, so I better get checked out. I saw a cardiologist and expected to be given bad news about the condition of my heart. What he told me completely blind-sided me. The good news was, my heart was fine, and I wasn’ t having a heart attack, what I experienced was anxiety and most likely a minor panic attack. He asked what I did for a living and how I managed the stress. I was thinking what is he talking about I’ m a trial lawyer of course the job can be demanding but the stress doesn’ t bother me. I’ m easy-going. I’ m unflappable.
Over the next few days and weeks I was in denial but the weird feeling in my chest kept reminding me that something wasn’ t right. I don’ t know exactly when it was but eventually I realized I had to make some changes. But how? As a busy attorney with a family there never seemed to be enough hours in the day to do anything for myself. Reluctantly, I decided to talk to a counselor. He helped me realize it was okay to put myself and my needs first sometimes particularly when it came to my physical and emotional health. He also made me understand that there will always be deadlines and time constraints, so I had to make a deliberate decision to take care of myself. After all, he explained if I wasn’ t healthy how could I be a good attorney for my clients let alone a good father. It was foreign to me and it took practice,
PBCBA BAR BULLETIN 4
( cont. pg 8)