PBCBA BAR BULLETINS pbcba_bulletin_March 2019 | Page 27

WELLNESS & HEALTH C o r n e r THE POWER OF STATE: 3 KEYS TO MASTERING YOUR EMOTIONS BRIAN M. MOSKOWITZ Why are you reading this article? Why are Try it. Slump over, look at the ground, take Here’s another example, have you ever you in, or not in, a relationship? Why do you shallow breaths, and put a frown on your said to yourself “I feel tired” or “This is too drive the car you drive? face. How do you feel? hard”? Just by saying those words, you will feel tired and that what you’re trying to do When you dig beneath the surface, you’ll Now stand up straight with your head high, is too hard. You need to train yourself to see that the true answer is because of how shoulders back, take deep breaths, and put use different phrases. you think it will make you feel. The only a smile on your face. How did that feel? reason you do anything is to change the Whenever I face a challenge, I’ve trained way you feel. You changed your body’s biochemistry just myself to say “Easy day” or “I got this.” It by moving your body differently. Next time may sound simple, but it works. Try it, After moving from New York to Florida you feel a negative emotion, change how what have you got to lose? You can always in 2002, I decided to lose weight (over 30 you’re using your body. go back to being depressed and tired. pounds!). Why? Because I thought it would make me feel more confident. And when I Focus Those are the three keys to mastering moved my law practice from Boynton Beach your emotions – Physiology, Focus, and to Boca Raton, I traded in my Acura for a The second factor that determines how you Language. Once you understand them, you fancy sports car because I thought it would feel is where you direct your focus. I practice can harness the power of your emotional make me feel more successful. divorce law, and some of my clients view state and decide, at any moment, how you their divorce as the end, and some view it want to feel. I wanted to feel a specific emotion, and as the beginning. Depending on what they that was driving my actions. But I put off choose to focus on, radically changes their experiencing those emotions until the experience and how they feel. external event happened – losing weight Brian M. Moskowitz is a Partner in the West or driving an expensive car, instead of What about you? I’m sure right now in your Palm Beach office of Shutts & Bowen, LLP, realizing that I could experience those life some things are going well and some practicing Marital & Family Law. He can be emotions immediately by changing my things not so well. Take a moment and reached at [email protected] emotional state. focus on what’s great in your life. How does that feel? That’s right; you can feel any emotion you Unsubscribing from E-blasts want right now! And the three keys that Now take a moment and focus on what’s control how you feel at any moment are your bothering or annoying you right now? How If you accidentally unsubscribed from the Physiology, Focus, and Language. Together, did that make you feel? PBCBA e-blasts, (or if you opted not to receive they make-up your emotional state. them anymore), please keep in mind that Once again you changed your body’s Your state has the power to make you biochemistry but this time just by shifting other than the Bar Bulletin, the Bar sends feel happy, depressed, confident, or any your focus. Remember, what you focus on, all its information about special events and emotion just by changing how you use your you feel. programming, as well as important Court body, what you focus on, or the words and information to its members via email. Should language you use. I originally learned this Language concept from Tony Robbins who refers to you decide that you want to start receiving these three forces as the Emotional Triad. The third factor that determines how you these eNewsletters again, simply go to feel is the words and language patterns you http://www.palmbeachbar.org and add your Physiology use. “What is wrong with me?” I used to ask name to the mailing list from the button myself that question a lot. And when you that says “eNews Sign-up”. Please note that First and foremost, how you feel is dictated ask yourself a question, your brain will find by how you use your body. The eminent an answer. Unfortunately, the answer to Constant Contact will send you an email to philosopher Charlie Brown said it best, that question made me feel powerless and confirm that you wish to be added to the list, so “This is my depressed stance. When you’re depressed. be sure to complete that process. Due to SPAM depressed, it makes a lot of difference how laws, we cannot add your name back on to our you stand. The worst thing you can do is Instead of that question, I now ask myself straighten up and hold your head high “What can I do better?” That answer puts me list. because you’ll start to feel better. If you’re in control and makes me feel empowered. going to get any joy out of being depressed, Thank you. you’ve got to stand like this.” PBCBA BAR BULLETIN 27