PBCBA BAR BULLETINS pbcba_bulletin_june 2018 | Page 21

WELLNESS & HEALTH C o r n e r
Good or Bad? Maybe
BRIAN MOSKOWITZ
I was late for court one day so I rushed out of
my house, jumped into my car, and realized
that I forgot my keys. I immediately got out
of the car and stormed back to the house to
look for my keys all the while telling myself,
“Now I’m going to be really late!” Was
forgetting my keys good or bad?
I’m back in the house, stressed out that
I’m going to be late, and find my keys right
next to the file I need to take to court that
morning. Without that file my client’s
hearing would have to be continued. My
stress turned to relief. Was forgetting my
keys good or bad?
Did your answer change? Wasn’t it the
same event each time – forgetting my keys?
What changed a seemingly “bad” event into
a seemingly “good” event? What changed
is your perspective with the benefit of time.
And when your perspective changed, the
“label” you assigned to the event changed.
But what if we didn’t label (judge) people,
things, or events as good or bad? What if
it’s impossible to know if something is good
or bad until sometime in the future, if ever?
What if learning to live without labeling
your experiences as good or bad was the
key to happiness and empowerment?
There’s an ancient parable that illustrates
this lesson:
“Once upon a time there was a Chinese
farmer whose horse ran away. That
evening, all of his neighbors came around to
commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to
hear your horse has run away. This is most
unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.” The
next day the horse came back bringing
seven wild horses with it, and in the evening
everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t
that lucky. What a great turn of events. You
now have eight horses!” The farmer again
said, “Maybe.” The following day his son
tried to break one of the horses, and while
riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg.
The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too
bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.”
The next day the conscription officers came
around to conscript people into the army,
and they rejected his son because he had
a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came
around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he
said, “Maybe.””
While the neighbors went on a moment-
to-moment roller-coaster ride of emotion,
the farmer took each event in stride and
remained even-keeled.
That doesn’t
mean that the farmer was emotionless or
incapable of being happy or sad, it’s just that
he had a greater perspective – he saw the
big picture. He understood that no event, in
and of itself, is good or bad. He understood
that while he couldn’t control the events in
his life, he could control his response and
avoid the roller-coaster ride of emotions
that affects your work and personal life.
He understood that it’s only with time that
you’ll get the whole story and be able to put
events into perspective.
What about you? Are you more like the
farmer or his neighbors?
Think of a time in your life when you were
truly happy. Then look back and find the
past events – both the ones you labeled
good and the ones you labeled bad – that
led to you being truly happy. Did you go on
a roller-coaster ride of emotions to get there
or did you remain even-keeled?
Is it possible that with time and perspective
what you once considered bad is actually
good?
Maybe.
There are many different versions of this parable.
This version is from a lecture by Alan Watts that
was eventually published. Watts, Alan. Modern
Life: Collected Talks 1960-1969. New World Library,
2006. Print
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