Pauza Magazine Spring & Summer 2008 | Page 9

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE DEFINITIVE ?????????? By Marc Ackerman 06:15 Morning pre-dawn hike up mountain to cross overlooking town. Scrub off recent graffiti. Contemplate Peace Corps mission as sun rises. Pick up discarded condoms and make mental note to investigate latex recycling opportunities. 07:30 Coffee. Although you’re admittedly incapable of divining the message in coffee grounds, you decide to interpret your fortune in the dregs... “You’re going to make a tremendous difference in the lives of innumerable persons today.” men” point made in support of cloning. This debate dates back to February 21, 2007, our very first. Over one year later, I am happy to report not just improvements in my group’s verbal skills but an increase in the level of interest in high school debate with the arrival of the MAK 12s. Also, MAK 11s Kelley Karnopp (Kochani) and Julie Gezon (Vinica) continue to be involved. Vince Drader (Skopje) brought his kids over to Kratovo, our town, in March and challenged us on the topics “Are beauty contests harmful?” and “Can the assassination of a dictator be justified?” Lotus Yu (Kichevo) was our judge and managed to be just as expressionless as Ben Long (Ohird) was (thereby lending credence to their disposition of neutrality) in our more recent competition on the legalization of prostitution and abortion that took place in Bitola. From Kratovo to Kathryn’s Krusevo, we shall go in May. I hope as our students get together for debates that they mingle, exchange contact information and then use it to start up businesses together, count on each others’ votes upon running for office, or merely date; networking sure does make for a good secondary goal. I just found out from a student that a couple of the Bitola students they debated will pay our puny yet ????????? “Town of Towers & Bridges” a visit very soon. Thanks to everyone so far who has taken part in this activity, whether it was for seeking out the American Corner as a venue (Patrice), time-keeping (Miranda), grooming the competition (Heather and those mentioned three paragraphs ?????), for housing in Bitola (Patrice, Miranda, Heather), or for judging (Ryan, Lotus, Ben, and a Mak 10). The biggest thanks, of course, goes to all of our students we have had the pleasure of mentoring. 07:45 Text Peace Corps duty officer, informing him/her that you’re about to shower and will be unreachable for the next ten minutes. 08:00 Translate today’s ??????? into English, then into Albanian. Then translate this week’s Newsweek International into Macedonian. And Albanian. 08:45 Respond to Peace Corps Admin. e-mail calling for volunteers to assist in program to teach English to endangered trout in Lake Ohrid. 08:50 Use your Internet to research ways in which to rely on the Internet less. 09:10 Stop off in town square to dance the ??? with Roma children while singing. 09:20 way. Cross to opposite side of street to avoid danger of fraternizing with Embassy-looking types headed your 09:30 Initiate new project at your NGO: Commence partnership with the Macedonian Orthodox Church for printing Bibles on recycled paper. Invite local ??? to your apartment for ?? ????? tomorrow. 11:45 Decline invitation to volunteer’s birthday celebration in Skopje for the upcoming weekend in favor of ????? at the home of the ???? of the woman who works part-time at the ????? (never learned her name). BTW, the birthday celebration in Skopje was for YOU. 14:15 Get a head start on next Trimester Report, due in 14 weeks. 15:30 Organize pick-up 5-on-5 basketball game, in which you act as referee. Each team comprised of one Macedonian, one Albanian, one Turk, one Roma, and one Serb (Game ends in a tie.) Decline offer to join your new friends for a quick ?????? afterwards, explaining that you’re “taking it down a notch.” 17:00 Bi-weekly Macedonian language lesson with Todor the Tutor. Tonight’s topic: continuation of topic from the last 70 language lessons – cultural diversity. 18:15 Shop for gift for your PST host family, eventually purchasing the All-in-One pig slaughtering kit (“It defenestrates! It decapitates! It depilatates! It eviscerates! It commiserates! Just in time for ????????!”) 19:00 Sewing circle with your counterpart and her colleagues. This week’s project: an attractive, hand-knit, flame-retardant cozy for your distiller. 20:30 Dinner at home. Continue orderly and methodical preparation of each recipe listed in ????! ????!. Tonight: ‘Praz Surpraz.’ Feed leftovers to any stray animal willing to take a chance. 21:15 Patch holes in neighbor’s whitewash with Kraft Marshmallow Fluff received in recent care package from home.22:00 Transfer TV from your apartment to home of poor-but-honest shepherd on outskirts of town. Install satellite dish on corrugated steel roof by moonlight. 23:15 Prayer before bed: “I’d like to teach my site to sing in perfect harmony; I’d like to buy my site a Coke and keep it company.” KRAJ spring/summer 2008 -