POSITIVE POSSIBILITIES LIVING
HELPING
Versus Enabling
W
Tough love
means being
rooted, clear
and strong.
hen we love a person who has an addiction,
it is so very painful to see their struggles. Ultimately, we too need to admit that we are powerless over the addiction. We want to help. We
see those we love in pain. We want to take that
pain away. But we cannot make changes for anyone but ourselves. It is often hard enough to make
changes for ourselves. We are powerless to make
the changes for those we love.
Often addicts find themselves close to people
whoenable. Enablers are harder to see sometimes
than addicts, because enablers seem kind and
helpful. They are ever willing to help, cover up,
make excuses, clean up the mess, tippy-toe around
addicts. There is a powerful yet very subtle ego force at play with enablers. They are doing
“good deeds”, so they are “good” people, “helping” those “poor souls” with the problem.