A Letter From The Editor
… And You Think You’ve
Had Annoying Houseguests!
As Summer Approaches, So Do
Houseguests — Beware
H
4
istory is filled with tales of bad
houseguests.
Benjamin Franklin once said,
“Fish and visitors smell after three
days.” And to think, Benjamin
Franklin said that 230 years before
Julian Assange wore out his welcome
with the ambassador of Ecuador.
My theory is that if the U.S.
president put pressure on the new
Ecuadorian president to boot Julian
Assange out of Ecuador’s embassy, it
had little or no effect at all. I believe
that Ecuador booted him out simply
because he was a ghastly guest.
In the course of his seven-year-
long stay at Ecuador’s embassy in
London, details were leaked giving
insight into what it was like to host
the WikiLeaks founder.
According to Lenin Moreno,
Ecuador’s president, Assange engaged
in late-night skateboarding, played
loud music at all hours of the day
and night and walked around in his
underwear, he physically harassed his
caretakers and even smeared his own
fecal matter on the walls of the diplo-
matic mission. Let’s just say he was a
“crappy” houseguest (pun intended;
couldn’t resist).
“We’ve ended the asylum of this
spoiled brat,” President Moreno said
in a speech announcing his decision
to withdraw protection of Assange.
“From now on we’ll be more careful
in giving asylum to people who are
really worth it.”
As summer approaches, so do
houseguests.
I, personally, have had mostly
positive experiences with house
guests. So, I asked our readers to
share their worst experiences about
guests that weren’t so pleasant.
One reader told her Hostess
Horror Story under the condition of
anonymity.
“My gay best friend spent the
night at my house after a night on the
town. I went to work the next morn-
ing, letting him sleep in. He called
me while I was at work and told me
he was bored. I told him to watch
TV, I was busy and couldn’t come
get him. A mutual friend/client of
mine offered to go pick him up and
bring him to my work. At the end
of the day, on the way, taking him
home back to Dallas, I asked what
he did all day at my house. He says,
‘Oh,nothing.’ A month later, he tells
me that he found a date on Grindr
(Tinder for gay men) and had sex on
my mom’s bed! It was my neighbor!
To make it worse, that neighbor is
married! They moved a few months
later.”
She didn’t toss out the bed, but
she did buy a new mattress cover for
it.
Tia Gowins Flores
“Well...we have several, but one
stands out. We were needing some
help with the remodel of our home.
So we asked a young man who was
related to a close friend if he wanted
to help. He said yes, and came to
stay with us for about a month.
“We had to pull up old carpeting
in the living room (it had beautiful
hardwood flooring under the carpet)
so we started the process. We got all
the carpet and padding up...then left
to go to the store for more supplies.
“We left our ‘houseguest’ at
home. We came home to the
complete horror of our guest having
used a garden hose. He dragged
it into the house and had it on to,
‘wash down the hardwood floors.’
It took quite a while for me to calm
down and for the floors to dry. We
didn’t leave him alone anymore!”
Mary Dawson Benson
“I was working so hard to get
enough salmon croquettes cooked
for so many people one Easter, there
were probably 10 people here in
my home. In my yard the kids were
running and I turned around and
one of the guests, an older man, was
eating the croquettes as fast as I was
cooking them. I just looked at him,
slapped his hand and said, ‘You’re
acting like a child, stop it.’ He looked
at me and said, ‘I was hungry.’ I said,
‘We’re all hungry!’
“But, I was so mad at him I never
invited them back again. They’re
kind of ex-friend people. To me that
was the worst thing anybody could
do when croquettes are very hard to
make and I wanted people to have a
wonderful Easter. I just made more
pea salad. Then when people wanted
more I said, ‘What’s his name ate
them.’”
Linda Bagwell
“I had a childhood friend visit me
one time, and she brought her own
linens, towels and cleaning supplies.
She told me that she was a bit OCD
and that no one‘s house was ever
clean enough for her.
“She then proceeded to clean the
guest bathroom and stripped the bed
in the guest room and put on her
own sheets. She then wiped down all
the furniture with a disinfectant wipe.
What to say? I was tempted to invite
her back for the next weekend and
let her sleep in the master bedroom.”
Continued on page 70