Parent Survival Guide Parent Survival Guide Issue 03 (Summer) | Page 24

Parental alienation isn’t what only horrible people do.

Self Care for all

Look for a chance to reclaim relationships

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24 summer 2017 PSG

Photo credit: Silent_GOS Silent_GOS Silent_GOS

arental alienation isn’t what only horrible people do. There are many reasons why one may want their ex-spouse gone for good. And who, especially on a bad day, hasn’t been tempted to pull their child(ren) to their side for easy validation? So as

summertime often brings about more time with family and friends, what we ask you to consider for self-care is a little different this time.

Ask yourself whether it is possible that you yourself have been alienated from a parent figure where you have never considered this before. Did you grow up harboring irrational anger or disdain towards a parent, a grandparent, or a once-close family friend? Did you see these individual(s) through somebody else’s eyes, rather than your own?

If another’s animosity towards that person was transferred to you, chances are you have been severed from some of the love and nurturing available to you. Furthermore, depending on the extent of the alienating behaviors, you may even hold some of the shame and disorientation that we talk about in relation to alienated kids.

Give yourself a chance to reflect on this deeply. Examine the patters in your response to these individuals for signs of bias, for evidence that your relationship with them wasn’t truly yours to shape. Recall how they were presented to you, and whether you have come to hold those views as your own.