Helping Your Child Build Friendships
By Jan Pierce, M.Ed.
F
or many kids, building friendships comes as negative character traits raise a red flag: there could
naturally as breathing in air or waking up in the be trouble ahead for those who spend time with that
morning. For others, the process is filled with person. But they gravitate toward those with positive
landmines of fear, anxiety and discouragement. Experts social skills, knowing they’ll be appreciated, be safe and
agree that friendship-building is a skill—it can be have fun with that person.
learned. What Can Parents Do?
The Popular Kids
How can you help your child improve friendship-making
Popular children, those successful in making friends, skills? What can you do at home to model healthy
have strong pro-social skills. They show caring for interpersonal relationships? How can you support your
others, often wanting to share something with them or child without intruding and undermining confidence?
help them in some way. They have strong verbal skills,
so they can carry on conversations. They’re able to curb
their own selfish or aggressive behaviors and instead
are good at understanding the feelings of others and
seeing others’ perspectives. They’re able to make good
choices to help avoid arguments or problems.
In general, children will reject those they perceive to
be aggressive, disruptive, irritable, bossy or selfish. The
8 | V O L U S I A parent M A G A Z I N E
If your child is one who struggles with making new
friends, there are simple ways to help sidestep
relationship landmines. Here are four ways you can
empower your children to navigate the often murky
waters of friendship-building.