with any problem, no matter how big or small. It’s very
important, say Drs. Sameer Hinduja and Justin Patchin
of the Cyberbullying Research Center, to “cultivate and
maintain open, candid lines of communication with your
children, so that they’re ready and willing to come to
you whenever they experience something unpleasant or
distressing in cyberspace.”
Assure your kids ahead of time that you won’t ban
them from going online if they come to you for help. As
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli, a well-known child psychologist
and expert on cyberbullying, says, consistently remind
your kids that “they’ll not lose their online privileges,
interactive online gaming time, mobile devices or social
network site privileges due to cyberbullying issues
provided they are open, honest and forthright.” Try not
to overreact to situations as this will make your kids
think that you’ll overreact if they tell you about being
cyberbullied.
When you speak to your kids about their online
activities, encourage them not to respond in kind to
wannabe cyberbullies: this will only exacerbate the
problem. Tara Fishler, a prominent expert on mediation
and conflict resolution, says that “responding lets the
bully know they affected you. Not posting a response
gives you some control so you are not sucked into their
harmful activities.” Instead, help block any wannabe
cyberbullies from reaching your kids.
As part of your regular conversations with your kids,
teach them safe online habits. This includes such basic
online security measures as never revealing identifying,
personal information like their home addresses, phone
numbers, and where they go to school; not sharing their
usernames and passwords with others; not leaving online
accounts accessible and vulnerable on public devices;
and never opening messages and links from people they
don’t already know.
Your kids should also learn to select appropriate privacy
settings on their online accounts, so that they only accept
friends or follow requests from people they personally
know and allow posts to be broadcast only to their circle
of friends or followers. As Mrs. Brown succinctly puts it,
“Limiting online exposure helps keep the bullies at bay.”
More generally, teach your kids to think carefully before
they post anything online. They need to understand
the potential repercussions from anything they post,
including how certain posts could be used maliciously.
A good rule of thumb is to say and do online only what
you would say and do face-to-face to someone. Your kids
should understand that as soon as they post something,
it’s out of their control. Their posts can be forwarded
without their knowledge or consent. Ruth Carter, a
lawyer who specializes in social media and internet law,
says “Kids should be taught early and often that they
have no idea when a post will take on a life of its own
and go places they can’t control.” A more strict but no
less useful approach would be to establish actual “rules”
for your kids’ online activities, including deciding which
sites they’re allowed to access, for how long, and what
they are permitted to do on those sites.
A final way you can protect your kids from becoming the
victims of cyberbullying is to stay in regular contact with
their teachers. Since a kid’s cyberbullies are often to be
found among his or her class - or school mates, teachers
are some of the best sources of information about any
potential problems at school. It’s important that you
speak to their teachers not just about how they’re doing
academically but also socially. Teachers may notice
troubling interactions inside or outside the classroom.
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