2. STEP BACK. Some parents have trouble trusting
that a school will care about their child as much as
they do. And it’s true—teachers won’t treat your child
like a parent would. They will probably expect more.
And they will care about your child as educational
professionals, who want to challenge your child so
she can realize her potential, so let them do their
jobs. Smart parents know that school is not just about
academics. When your child is in school, she is learning
how to be a member of a community. She is learning
how to socialize and enjoy playtime. She is learning
how to express herself through art, music and physical
activity. So take a leap of faith. Remind yourself that
the folks who run schools are trained professionals.
Trust them with your child’s daily education and well-
being. Then your child will experience every day as an
adventure in learning and growing.
3. BE POSITIVE AND PROACTIVE. Try to find
something to like about your school on a regular
basis. If you don’t know what to like then you might
not be aware enough. Have a working knowledge
of the school layout. Introduce yourself to teachers
on open-house days and meet the folks who work in
the front office, including the principal. Make sure
the teacher knows you are on her team. If you have a
miscommunication or misunderstanding with a teacher
or administrator, strive to work things out in a
calm, pro-active manner. Don’t hang on to negative
perceptions or try to create negative consensus
with other parents. Confident, secure parents seek
solutions not squabbles. Put yourself in the teacher’s
or administrator’s shoes before you pick up the
phone or shoot off that e-mail. Remember, the way
you would like to be treated is the way to behave,
always, no matter how you feel in the heat of the
moment.
4. GIVE WITHOUT STRINGS. Whether you work
full time or not, there are typically two types of
parent volunteers: those who willingly pitch in and
help and those who don’t want to spend time at
school but do it for their kids. Be honest about the
kind of parent you are, so you can find ways to be a
cheerful contributor to the school.
If you like to pitch in, join the PTA or sign up to be
a room parent. You will find plenty of opportunities
to contribute, but do so without expectations of
payoffs for your child based on your involvement.
The benefits for your child will come when you
happily contribute, not when you use your position
as an insider to create an ongoing list of how you
would do things differently and better. Remember
your role as a helper in the larger scheme of things.
Be service-minded, looking for opportunities to match
the school’s needs with what you have to offer. Do your
best not to criticize parents who are less committed to
volunteering than you, unless you wish to be judged
back.
If you don’t want to spend a lot of time at school,
acknowledge that your child could benefit from seeing
you at school once in a while, whether you enjoy
volunteering or not. Break the school year up into
three parts and try to pitch in to help or chaperone
at least once each season. If you have a spouse, get
them involved. And don’t feel guilty about not being
a parenting association volunteer. There are plenty of
ways to contribute that don’t funnel through the PTA.
Give money to financially support the programs of the
PTA, if you can swing it. Then go to your child’s teacher
when looking for ways to contribute in proximity to
your child.
No matter how you choose to contribute, when you
give the way you want to give, you set a great example
for your kids. Parents who invest energy cheerfully and
proactively in their child’s school stand out in the crowd
for all the right reasons, paving the way to success in
school for all their children.
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