Parent Magazine St. Johns September 2018 | Page 13

DECISIONS, DECISIONS:
SIX TIPS TO NURTURE
A CONFIDENT DECISION MAKER
by Christa Melnyk Hines
A
s a parent, you've probably heard the mantra: To help your child feel a sense of control and
better manage meltdowns, offer two choices you can both live with. But, what do you do if
even two choices become an agonizing struggle as your child painstakingly worries over
seemingly simple decisions? 
Kristen de la Durantaye says her son Taven, 7, finds decision-making extremely difficult, from
choosing what to eat for breakfast in the morning to which toy car to pick out at the store. Why?
Taven says, "I don't want to make the wrong choice." 
"This is painful because it takes so long to decide. I don't make the first thing he wants for
breakfast because I know he will change his mind at least twice before landing on his final decision,"
de la Durantaye says.
Dr. Jane Sosland, a clinical psychologist in behavioral pediatrics, says decision-making occurs in the
area of the brain that handles problem-solving. While we're all born with the ability to make
decisions, our environment and personality can influence our confidence when weighing options. 
"A child who is particularly anxious or worried or cares a lot about what other people think, may
be one who is much more careful about making decisions," Sosland says.
01
WEIGH THE IMPORTANCE.
Help your child learn to differentiate between
minor decisions and more important decisions, in
which the pros and cons should be considered.
Kelly Hill models decision-making to her indecisive
daughter Jolie, 4 1/2. "If I have a choice to make,
talking about it out loud with her and explaining
the different options of each may help her make
her choices too."
02
USE TARGETED PRAISE.
When your child makes a decision, reaffirm her
choice and reinforce desired behavior with specific
praise. For example, "I like that red shirt you chose
to wear" or "Good call on the restaurant you chose
for your birthday dinner. It will be fun to try
something new!" 
S T. JOHNS
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