Discussing Medical Differences
How parents can teach empathy and respect
By Wesley Roberts
Kids are curious . So when you ’ re at the grocery store and you pass a person using a wheelchair , your inquisitive child might ( loudly ) blurt out , “ Why is he in that ?”
“ As adults and parents , we often have a knee-jerk reaction to hush our child out of embarrassment or out of fear it may be offensive to the other person ,” explained Stephanie Kinnare , PhD , psychologist with Baptist Behavioral Health . “ Remember , the child is not intending to come from a place of hurt . They ’ re just curious , and this is developmentally normal for kids , especially when they notice differences they ’ ve never seen before .”
Instead of silencing your child ’ s interest in learning something new , try these recommendations from Dr . Kinnare :
1 . Acknowledge the child ’ s observations . You may say , “ Yes , he is using a wheelchair .”
2 . Give simple , factual information about the difference , like , “ That person has a medical condition , so he needs a wheelchair .”
“ Acknowledging differences exist and showing that people with medical conditions are deserving of love and kindness is such an important message for children ,” said Dr . Kinnare .
As a next step , you can help your child understand how they can support people with medical differences . For example , if a peer in their class is using a wheelchair , explain that the other child might need help picking something up or opening the door .
Kids rock
“ Children actually do a great job of modeling this behavior themselves ,” said Dr . Kinnare . “ They show us how they prefer to educate others on their medical differences . This is a great model for parents .”
Dr . Kinnare provided an empowering example :
“ One day , a girl who lost her hair due to cancer treatment had another child at school make a judgmental comment about her ‘ haircut .’ The girl simply responded with a factual explanation about her medical condition . ‘ I had cancer and the medicine made me lose my hair . It ’ s growing back now .’”
Acknowledging differences , modeling empathetic behavior and normalizing talking to our kids about medical differences will help in raising the next generation of caring and kind adults .
Reprinted from Baptist Health Juice , June 20 , 2021
28 | ST JOHNS PARENT MAGAZINE