And if a child ends up being late to school, the parent is
often late to work, too.
So what’s a parent to do to both get out the door on
time and with as little conflict as possible? Dr. Anderson
recommends several things.
Plan ahead
First, regardless of a child’s age, think about what can
be done the night before such as making lunches, taking
showers, organizing backpacks, and laying out clothes.
Talk with your kids as to what needs to get done in the
morning. “It’s great to have these discussions when
cooler heads are prevailing and we can really problem
solve about how to get things done in an efficient way,”
Dr. Anderson says.
Parents of younger kids need to focus on being clear
about what needs to get done, helping them develop
this list into good habits. This can be accomplished by
noticing when a child is successful, then praising him for
those successes. It’s also helpful to break tasks down into
very small steps and then noting how well the child is
trying to comply or do things independently.
Those with older kids could help them develop an
organizational plan—a list they could check back on
to make sure each step is completed. “We’re all more
effective when we’re very clear with ourselves about
what steps we might need to take and realistic about
what we actually have time to get done,” he says.
absolutely want to make it so that any behaviors we’ve
defined as target behaviors are also prompted visually
so that they can remember and, over time, start to
independently do them.” Visual prompts might include
posted schedules and photos of targeted behaviors, such
as a picture of a child brushing her teeth near the sink.
With typically developing children and teens, the amount
of visualization needed varies: “There are kids who only
need their parents to give instructions verbally and then
they can usually remember them and follow through.
Certain kids need either more reminders or time to form
these habits,” notes Dr. Anderson.
Create incentives
When it comes to making mornings better, rewards are
also key. They can be either short term, involving some
kind of immediate treat or, because of the time crunch,
earned privileges to be enjoyed later.
Dr. Anderson offers one of his favorite examples of a
short-term reward, involving a teenager and her mother.
“They talked about what specific behaviors they were
going to focus on,” he says. “The idea was she gets up
by a certain time, gets all of her things together and
leaves by a certain time for school. If those three things
Temper expectations
Dr. Anderson also says it’s a good idea for parents to
prioritize the essential steps—what must get done—
vs. the “icing on the cake” steps, at least at first.
Exactly what is essential? “The reality is often that the
child at least has all of his clothes on, has something
in his stomach, and has brushed his teeth,” he says. “If
we can get those three things done somehow, either
before the child leaves or on the way to school, and
reinforce the child’s progress, then we can start to
build those habits and make it so that mornings are
easier in the future.”
Once the essential steps become habit, parents can
focus on the “icing,” which can include things like a
child keeping his hands to himself around a sibling,
making his bed and organizing his things.
Use visual prompts
Dr. Anderson says that especially for younger kids
who are on the autism spectrum or have ADHD, “we
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