Parent Magazine St. Johns January 2020 | Page 11

a charity that matters to them, or they While children need to learn that life regular household chores. Doing so won’t be motivated to do it.” isn’t always fair, you can still respect is wrong for several reasons: 1) it your children’s feelings by explaining defeats the very idea that being part why you have to decrease their of a family entails that one has certain allowance or postpone payment and responsibilities, 2) it encourages your let them know you can understand kids to bargain every time you ask their annoyance or disappointment.” them to do something around the Mr. Munson agrees: Consistency house, and 3) your kids may even stop “builds trust, reduces bargaining, and doing their chores once they feel they to your kids, but rather as a way to encourages planning for the future.” have enough money. inspire regular conversations with Don’t Use the Allowance as Punishment or Reward Experts say to only offer your kids Use the Allowance to Inspire Regular Conversations About Money Management Think of the allowance not primarily as a means of making money available them about money management. Kimberly Palmer, the author of “Smart Mom, Rich Mom,” says to “worry less An allowance should be used to teach about how much you give than that kids money management and not as you use the allowance as a chance to punishment or reward. An allowance, talk to your children about money.” says Mr. Munson, “is supposed to “The whole point,” says Mrs. Palmer, develop greater trust and better “is to get them used to handling and communication and cooperation, so talking about money so it’s not so using it as an unexpected disciplinary much the amount as the conversation tool will just make you look cruel and around it that matters.” Neale arbitrary in the eyes of your children Godfrey, a personal finance expert (no matter how much they might and author of more than two dozen seem to deserve it). Find another books on financial literacy, puts it well: way to make your point while living “Talking to your kids about allowance up to the original bargain.” Nevin and money is just as important Martell, a financial planner, agrees: as giving it.” Mr. Godfrey is right: Using money “as a yo-yo – ‘I don’t research shows that the more kids like this or I don’t like that, so I’m discuss money management with their going to cut your allowance’ – is not parents as they grow up, the better going to help them form a healthy they become at managing their own relationship with money.” finances as adults. Be Consistent – But Regularly Review Your Allowance Policies However you decide that your kids should allocate their allowance, be consistent about your allowance policies and only change them if you have very good reasons to do so, like if you simply can’t afford the current amount or your kids are not spending it in the agreed-upon ways. As Dr. Mary Kelly Blakeslee, a well-known child psychologist, says, “nothing bothers kids more than unfairness. If you change the rules without a good reason, you’re reneging on a contract. Similarly, don’t use the allowance to reward your kids for unrelated extra money for tasks you otherwise would have paid someone else to do like, say, mowing the lawn or painting the house. Mr. Godfrey suggests that parents carefully distinguish between what he calls “”citizen-of- the-household chores,” for which they shouldn’t get paid, and “work-for-pay chores,” for which it makes sense to give them some extra money. * accomplishments. “Giving your kids money as a reward,” says Joseph Hogue, a certified financial planner, *Unlimited game play is good for non-redemption games only and excludes ticketed, specialty, VR & crane games. $500 is with signed contract and deposit prior to tax, gratuity and outside vendors. “establishes the mentality that you only need to do things if you’re getting paid.” Instead, suggests Mr. Hogue, “let them pick the family outing for the week or just tell them how proud you are of their accomplishment.” Don’t Tie the Allowance to the Performance of Regular Household Chores *Promotional. EXPIRES: 06/01/2021. Present this coupon at Front Desk to redeem. Limit one coupon per customer per Power Card®. Coupon value may not be divided into multiple Power Cards. Barcode valid for one use only. Minor policies vary by location – please check daveandbusters.com/locations for details. Not valid with any other offers, including Eat & Play Combos, Half Price Games Wednesdays or any Half Price Game promotion. Not valid with Special Events Packages or on Virtual Reality/Attraction games. Coupon must be surrendered at time of redemption and may not be photocopied or duplicated. Non-negotiable. Power Card activation fee will apply. NOT FOR RESALE. Finally, don’t tie the allowance to S T. J O H N S parent M A G A Z I N E | 9