or not the current parent favorite, express enthusiasm
to your child about learning with the teacher she will
have.
3
Communicate your child’s needs. If you can send
an email to the teacher a week before school
starts, that’s good timing. But it’s never too
late to keep your child’s teacher up to date
on your child’s specific challenges, especially those that
will affect his ability to learn.
4
Let the teacher do the teaching. Once the year
kicks off, assume a supporting role. Express
interest in your child’s academic work and
school activities but try to let her tackle
challenges like homework and projects herself.
5
See how well your child can meet standards on his
own. Schools set up checkpoints like teacher
conferences to assess student progress. Use
these opportunities to find out how well your
child is doing in school. Be relaxed and open-minded
about any reports, especially if they are not what you
were hoping to hear.
6
Coach from the backseat. No parent likes to see
a child falter. But facing struggles can be
helpful in building character and teaching
him lessons about himself. Don’t do your
child’s work for him. Take on a cheerleading stance
instead.
7
Get more structured support as needed. If the year
is at the halfway point and your child is
not making solid academic progress, and
you have exhausted the school’s resources,
consider a private tutor, a learning service like Kumon
or a tutoring service like Sylvan. Try to find a private
tutor with reasonable rates using an online tutor-finder
like Care.com.
8
Participate. Three common commitments are
parent-teacher meetings, school events, and
parent volunteering. But don’t be at the
school 24-7. If your child gets the sense that
you are appropriately committed and engaged in the
spirit of the school without hovering, she can relax,
participate, and focus on doing her best.
9
Don’t pressure. Meet your student wherever he
is. There is no point in projecting your prior
academic success onto your child or pressing
him to achieve more than he is reasonably
capable of accomplishing. Love and appreciate your
child as a whole person, not just a grade at the end of
the year, and he will feel secure and motivated.
10
Express gratitude. Offer teachers an inexpensive
card or gift at holiday time and the end
of the year. But don’t write the thank-you
note for your child. Help her write it herself
instead until she is old enough to take over the job.
Reboot That Rocky Relationship: 5 Ways
To Resolve Student-Teacher Conflicts
Here’s an easy troubleshooting guide for teacher-
student relationships that get off to a rocky start.
1. If you are not sure what to say, start sentences with
the phrase, “I am concerned because…” Then ask,
“Do you think there is anything that needs to be
done to address this concern?”
2. Ask questions until you understand the situation
and what your child can do better.
3. Convey to both the teacher and your child that you
will do everything you can to help address the issue.
4. Check in with your child daily for a couple of weeks
to ensure teacher expectations are understood and
heeded.
5. Follow-up with the teacher after two weeks to make
sure there has been a noticeable improvement.
Don’t assume the situation will be resolved
immediately just because you brought it up. And don’t
believe it is resolved merely because the student says
it is. Confirm a more harmonious relationship from
the teacher’s point of view, as well. When harmony is
achieved, praise your child for making an effort and
thank the teacher for his time and attention. If your
child’s teacher brings up a challenge that needs to be
addressed, follow the same steps.
Whatever You Do, Don’t…
• Don’t expect teachers to drop everything and
get back to you immediately. Assume a busy, full
schedule and allow about a week for a response.
• Don’t take things personally when issues that come
up are actually about your child’s progress in school.
• Don’t expect teachers to try and please you. They are
supposed to focus on teaching the kids, not coddling
the parents.
• Don’t speak disparagingly about your child’s teachers
with him or in front of him.
• Don’t fire off an email when you are angry. Wait
until you calm down and then send an email asking
for more information or requesting a meeting time.
• Don’t go over a teacher’s head unless you have made
every attempt to cooperate with that teacher first.
If you have tried three times and been unsuccessful
each time, you might send a calm note to the
principal explaining that you are having a hard time
communicating with the teacher and you would like
some assistance.
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