the level of intensity , then maybe a local intramural league is a better fit . Don ’ t assume the most expensive or competitive choice is always the best fit for your child ’ s needs . Sometimes less really is more .
Shrug Off Kiddie Competition . Pressure to conform is ever-present in childhood . Do the kids next door participate in more activities than your kids ? So what . Left to their own devices , kids will often compare their experiences with other kids and find theirs lacking . How many times have you heard that their friends ’ parents let them do this or that ? Strong , secure parents can hear this without giving in to pressure . They do ? That ’ s nice . This is what we do , and these are the reasons why .
Find Mentors of Character . When you choose the activity , you also choose the role model who is in charge . Make sure coaches , organizers and leaders are the types of people you want influencing your kids . Mentors who focus on character model healthy choices and allow kids to act like kids while helping them build skills in a measured manner . If you are concerned that a coach or activity leader is over-zealous or too highpressure , trust your instincts and investigate further .
Allow For Downtime . Be sure your family has at least a day or two each week when no outside activities are on the schedule . Whether you participate in a religious Sabbath or not , everyone in the family can benefit from observing a weekly day of rest . And spending a whole day enjoying family time each week will bring your family closer and remind everyone that family comes first .
Watch for Signals of Over-doing . Is your child happily content or often tired and irritable ? Do you have a mutual admiration society at home or are family members always snipping at each other ? Is everyone sleeping well at night or is exhaustion the norm ? Are you in charge of the schedule or do stress and pressure run the show ? Remember that your family deserves to feel calm and contented . Take charge of how you spend your time and your children will soon follow suit .
Relax , Kick Back & Hang Out
Take back your family ’ s quality of life by trying some of these simple strategies .
• Have a family project you all work on year-round in a leisurely manner like a vegetable garden or even a puzzle .
• Go on local outings with the mission of simply hanging out together .
• Take an occasional family walk together in a go-to location when something challenging needs to be discussed and sorted out .
• Watch a family double feature with popcorn , drinks and lively discussions .
• Take the family to the library and spend an hour gathering books , magazines , music and DVDs .
• Make Sunday brunch a ritual activity either at home or at an inexpensive local restaurant .
• Have a casual but consistent family meeting once a week to get a better sense of how kids are feeling about the ways they spend their time .
Encourage Personal Development . Kids need hobbies , just like adults . Private , personal activities that don ’ t have to be shared with others can be soothing and pleasurable and teach kids to become more selfdirected . So if your child loves to bake , knit , build models or peer at the stars , support those interests . When you buy her special ingredients , pretty yarn , three types of glue or the slightly better telescope , you are saying , “ I see you and I support the person you are becoming .” Every child needs and wants this kind of recognition and acknowledgment from parents .
Be Honest With Yourself . Do you really care more about what others think of your kids than you do about your family ’ s overall happiness ? Do you worry you are living in such a dog-eat-dog world that your child has to be hyper-busy to compete ? Are you so concerned about your child ’ s social standing that you put her in activities she doesn ’ t care about to expose her to the right kids ? If any of these are true , take a step back . When it comes to scheduling your child , let her needs lead , not yours .
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