They display an increased motivation to persist in
the face of a disappointing grade or a difficult task.
As Angela Duckworth, a psychology professor at the
University of Pennsylvania concurs, this kind of stick-to-
itiveness spurs children to achieve success, in and out of
school.
So how can we teach our kids to have a growth mindset?
Research shows that children at any level can be taught
to adopt a growth mindset. Specifically, parents should
emphasize the effort and strategies their child uses to
achieve a desired outcome rather than focus on the
child’s intelligence or talent.
This emphasis on process gives the child a sense of
control, in that she sees that good results often come
from increased effort and not necessarily innate ability.
This sense of control boosts the child’s confidence to
keep working at a problem with the understanding that,
if one way of solving the problem didn’t work, then
tackling the problem in a different way might.
While encouraging your child to value the process of
learning rather than just the outcome itself, Dweck
cautions parents to use praise effectively. Parents should
be mindful to use words that praise a child’s efforts
in accomplishing a desired result (“You studied hard
and did great!”) versus words that praise the child’s
intelligence (“You got an A because you’re so smart!”).
2. Make learning fun
To help foster motivated learning, parents can turn
lessons into fun activities. Add excitement to your child’s
learning experience by encouraging him to explore his
interests. If your child is interested in music, sign him up
to play a musical instrument of his choosing or take him
to children’s concerts, many of which are free at parks
and community centers.
Music in particular is a great teaching tool because it stirs
enthusiasm while sharpening the child’s understanding
of mathematics, which has a strong connection to music,
according to the American Mathematical Society. Musical
concepts such as rhythm, scales, intervals, harmonies, and
pitch are all rooted in math.
If your child is interested in history or dinosaurs, take
her to a museum or head to your local library to peruse
books on the subject. For a younger learner, use puzzles
and board games to make mastering concepts connected
to her interests colorful and fun.
To have fun with learning, use external rewards, such
as stickers, candy, and money sparingly. The overuse of
external rewards can undercut motivation over time by
implying to the child that he can choose to do the task
only if he wants the reward, not for the inherent value in
learning something new.
3. Respect frustrations and need for downtime
It’s unreasonable to expect children to be motivated
all the time. When parents don’t acknowledge a child’s
frustration with learning a particular skill, children are
more likely to disengage from the learning process.
But exploring your child’s hesitation to do a task can give
her the reassurance she needs to keep striving. If you
aren’t making progress in talking to your child about her
frustrations, seek out a teacher or coach who may have
better success.
Likewise, be respectful of your child’s need for
downtime. While parents want to give their children
every opportunity to learn, this well-intentioned goal
has to be balanced with the equally-important goal of
letting a child enjoy being a kid, notes child psychiatrist
Alvin Rosenfeld, co-author of “The Overscheduled
Child”.
Allowing children to have unstructured downtime to
play outdoors or simply hang around the house lets
them recharge and process what they learned during
the structured part of their day. This boosts creativity
as children dream up ways to fill their time and builds
character as they play with – and resolve conflicts with –
other children their own age.
4. Allow your children to fail
Although it seems counterintuitive at first, part of
helping children learn not to become discouraged when
faced with difficult tasks is to let them fail and learn how
to bounce back from that failure. Letting children fail
teaches them resilience and how to take responsibility
for the natural consequences of their actions.
With that goal in mind, a child is better served when
parents resist the urge to rescue him from failure if the
source of the failure is the child’s own lack of effort.
When a child experiences how poor effort can lead to a
poor result, the child is incentivized to refocus his efforts
at succeeding. This redirection can bolster the child’s
perseverance, self-reliance, and motivation.
In some children, the fear of failure can be especially
daunting. Try lessening these children’s fears by
explaining that innovators they may admire – from
Thomas Edison to Walt Disney to J. K. Rowling –
experienced numerous obstacles and failures before
succeeding through sustained motivation and
perseverance.
5. Lead by example
One of the most effective ways parents can teach their
children to embrace learning is to immerse them in a
household where the parents are enthusiastic about
learning as well. Show your child your commitment to
learning by reading avidly, taking a class, or engaging
enthusiastically in a hobby of your interest.
Not only will your child see that working hard doesn’t
have to be a solitary undertaking, but she will also
witness firsthand the personal satisfaction that comes
from relishing a challenge.
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