For example, if you’d rather wake
up in a ski lodge on Christmas
morning and have someone else
serve breakfast, lunch and dinner
so you can hit the slopes with the
fam’, so be it! Contemplate what
you want – what you really want
– so you can share your needs
honestly with others.
3. Share your vision with your immediate
family. If your family loves you,
and I assume they do, then your
vision for the holidays matters
to them. Even if they don’t share
your enthusiasm for Black Friday
shopping, Christmas caroling,
and marathon tree decorating,
everyone should be able to
accommodate everyone else in
the family. Who knows? Maybe
by the time you are done regaling
the neighborhood with “Oh, Holy
Night” and “Rudolph The Red-
nosed Reindeer,” everyone will
be shivering and laughing in that
ineffable way that makes life-long
memories.
4. Give each immediate family member
a chance to chime in. Okay, so you
have gotten clear on the ways you
enjoy spending the holidays. Now
it’s time to encourage the rest of
your family to share what they
want. Come on now, they tolerated
your eccentricities and now it’s your
turn to back them up. And yes, you
have to attend the sporting event
you could probably live without
with your son and take your
daughter to see The Nutcracker for
the umpteenth time. You will also
go to the office party with your
husband. If these are the things
that make the holidays magic for
them, who are you to disagree?
of taking charge, having personal
preferences, and sharing and
receiving ideas within the family
is that you can now communicate
what you all need to your extended
family members. Yes, your family is
allowed to carve out your traditions
and create your own memories.
And now that you know what they
are, it’s your responsibility to follow
through as best you can.
6. Communicate without guilt. Give the
extended family plenty of time to
accept your plans. They don’t have
to like them. In fact, you might
think they will never speak to you
again. But part of being an adult
is learning to let other people
face with their feelings without
continually adjusting your needs
to fit theirs. Guilt may have been
the type of internalized shame that
kept you in line in the past, but
it’s time to shake off this type of
programming and live the life that
really makes you happy.
7. Be the change you want to see in
your world. Perhaps you have heard
the quote, attributed to Mahatma
Ghandi, “Be the change you want
to see in the world.” But what he
may have really said is, “If we could
change ourselves, the tendencies
in the world would also change.”
In other words, our personal
happiness does matter and the way
we live does impact the world. So
in claiming our joy, we make the
world a more positive place, as
well.
Activate The Power Of
Personal Choice
Be creative in your decision-making
process. Remember, there is no
such thing as one right choice for
everyone. Choose whatever makes
sense for your family.
• You could go to a soup kitchen or
you could take this year off and
make soup at home.
• You could fly across the country
to see your great aunt and
grandmother or you could go
next year.
• You could go to every holiday
party you are invited to or you
could confer with the family
about each choice first.
• You could feel guilty about
not visiting your in-laws or you
could send a beautiful card and
thoughtful gift instead.
• You could attend midnight mass
or you could create your own
spiritual celebrations at home.
• You could invite friends and
family over for holiday meals or
you could just have one potluck
for the whole season.
• What you choose to do this year
does not have to be the new
tradition. Try things and see what
sticks.
5. Create your perfect holiday. If you
can’t remember the last time you
just stayed home for Christmas and
unwrapped gifts from under your
own tree, then maybe it’s time to
simplify your Christmas without
feeling like you have to apologize
to the entire world. The beauty
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