PANIC MONTHLY NEWSLETTER September 2013 | Page 8

If you do not believe in God but the caregivers do, or they have a different faith to your own: Word your concern with the social worker. Many caregivers use church as a safer environment where children in care can socialize knowing there are other adults to watch over them while they play, this does not always mean they are active members. It is often not about conversion. Your child may connect with what is being discussed, remember children often will connect or seek connections with those around them. By the time they are adults many however are more able to decide for themselves. Anger helps no one. If your anger is seen as negative by your child then this will not help to retain the bond between you and may cause rifts. Love your child for who they are and know that deep down they will always be a part of you. These issues become of greater importance if your child is to remain in care permanently. Try to find within your heart some understanding of the importance of connections. It is just as important as them needing the connection with you.

Things NOT to do

Don't bring gifts every visit. For under fives keep in mind dangerous items that can be swallowed etc If your children are having Behaviour issues then keep this in mind when giving gifts. Scarf's might be nice for winter but kids under stress can use these around their necks or another child's. Watch for lose buttons etc If giving second hand clothing please take the time to wash and mend before giving. Ask the social worker to find out the child's clothing size. Kids grow fast and can be upset to get something new only for it not to fit. This can make them act out and be angry at you. Also ask questions like a favorite colour etc. Kids often save the things once thought of as favorite with their family and change to something else while in care. This might be due to them wanting to preserve that special memory. This doesn't mean you have lost touch with your child. By writing out a list of questions for the social worker or caregiver, you can be assured that what you are giving your child is accepted and welcomed.

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