To Helen, Boadicea, Victoria, and You
Julia Niemeier
I am not a girl to go to war for.
I will not launch ships with my beauty;
my honor won’t be enough to send men to their deaths;
I will not stay faithful through sieges and storms.
I am not a girl to go to war for.
I am not a girl to go to war against.
I will not sit idle and pretty while my cities scream;
I will not let delicate silks keep me from battle;
I will unsheathe my claws and let the fire in my eyes burn.
I am not a girl to go to war against.
I am not a girl to go to war without.
I will never forgive the sun flashing off your departing armies;
I will hunt you down and hurt you for keeping me from my fight;
you will never protect me by leaving me behind.
I am not a girl to go to war against.
I am a girl to go to war beside.
I will stand back to back with you, surrounded by blood;
I will hang my armor next to yours and the dents will be the same;
I will yell to my armies like they are my children, and
I will bleed and burn to keep you safe,
and you will do the same.
St. Patrick’s Day Limerick Series
Anonymous
#1 I had a Milwaukee at six, because I just needed my fix.
My face started twitching, now everything’s itching,
and now I heard sweet guitar licks.
#2 Well, I was just crossing the street— when cars started honking at me.
I blushed like a rose, then put on my clothes,
and yelled, “There, are you happy?!?”
#3 My friends woke me up on the lawn.
“The hell?” they said. “Where had you gone?”
I saw the TV, and—shit!— it was me, naked and running along.
#4 Maybe I shouldn’t be drinking... My liver has clearly been shrinking.
The news got around, now I’m that guy in town.
My rep, like Titanic, is sinking.