When the time comes , haul the thing up to the roof . Try and ignore the stench . Stick some metal in it and stand back . Hope it starts moving and doesn ’ t just fall to bits . Try and enjoy the experience ; this is supposed to be vindicating . A little screaming at the sky is melodramatic , but enjoyable . Set the thing free on the town . Let it tear through people ’ s lives , their hearts , their gardens . That couple was going to break up sooner or later . Those roses weren ’ t healthy anyway . Once it ’ s going , there ’ s not much you can do to control it ; just lock your door and hide in the basement and hope to God it dies before it comes back to your door . When the screaming subsides , don ’ t go out . Stay hunkered down . Keep praying – this time , that no one realizes who brought that thing to life . Wait for life to return to normal before you show your face . When you finally crawl out from your home , play the concerned citizen . Offer condolences . Offer support . Offer to help clean up . And , if the opportunity arises , pocket some of the new grievances your monster left lying around . You never know when you ’ ll want to raise the dead again .
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