Kassondra Cloos SWCP
In May , I walked around the Isle of Portland , on the Jurassic Coast in southwest England . As I stood in front of the swanky , seaside Pennsylvania Castle , I read a sign claiming that it “ remains one of the finest of Portland ’ s three castles .” Pennsylvania Castle now rents for thousands of pounds per night , while Portland ’ s other two castles are an old military fort and a pile of rocks that was formerly shaped like a castle .
I think about this , like , three times a week . “ Pennsylvania Castle remains one of the finest of Portland ’ s three castles .”
It just says so much . It says : this is a culture where it ’ s tacky to claim that something is “ the best ” or “ the most ” or “ the finest ,” definitively , because you can ’ t prove it , and because no one would like you anyway even if you could .
As we ’ ve been able to show only part of Kassondra ’ s award-winning article , this extract from her online journal is included as an example of her “ wonderful irreverend style ”. We think it ’ s quite good , actually .
above When a ranger on the Jurassic Coast told me the trail up ahead was “ a bit hilly ,” I knew I was in for trouble . American translation : “ absolute hell .” Alas , the views are worth it .
This is one of the things I love most about living in the United Kingdom . In the U . S ., we have big , flashy neon lights every-
Postcards
where , where we ’ re all trying to drown out everyone else who ’ s also claiming they are the best . But in Britain , understatement is king . If your house was on fire ( or if , say , you were locked in your garden on a 0 ° Celsius evening ), you wouldn ’ t call it the “ worst thing ever ,” you ’ d just say it “ wasn ’ t ideal .”
T he next day , as my friend and I walked from the town of Weymouth to the picturesque Lulworth Cove , we paid even closer attention . At a pub called the Smuggler ’ s Inn , we read the history of a 15th-Century pirate named Harry Payne , who used to steal wine from French and Spanish cargo ships and redistribute it around town .
“ Unfortunately ,” the leaflet said , “ the French and Spanish grew tired of the attacks and together they invaded Poole as payback , burning the town and killing hundreds of people , including Harry ’ s brother .”
Unfortunate , indeed . ( Harry was away at the time .)
Great appreciation for understated signage is just one of the things that keeps me going on a quest to hike the entire England Coast Path , a 2,795-mile trail that wraps around the whole country . I ’ ve been spending most of the summer hiking bits of the trail here and there , a project that began as a way for me to better understand my new home . After all , to fully understand a place , you need context . And when it comes to Britain , that is something I do not have in abundance .
And so , I walk . I walk , and I visit historic houses and small museums and I read local newspapers and I talk to people in pubs and on the trail . I walk from train stations to tiny villages with the prettiest harbors I ’ ve ever seen . I walk to beaches and ruins and castles , some of which are nearly 1,000 years old . I walk to teahouses — so very many teahouses — and take note of the order of assembly of the components of a cup of tea * and whether the jam or the clotted cream is the first to get heaped onto a scone . I walk and I eat Cornish pasties and Craster kippers , and I read about how these regional delights became longstanding traditions . from a small island
above The view of the Southwest Coast Path from Tintagel Castle , in Cornwall , was not too bad . [ Photos : Kassondra Cloos ]
This week , I ’ m hiking from Padstow to St . Ives on the Cornish section of the Southwest Coast Path , graciously organized by 10Adventures . I just started my trek yesterday , hiking about 14 miles to Porthcothan , and today I hiked onward to Newquay . St . Ives is another 40- odd hilly miles from here .
I ’ ve walked about 150-ish miles of the ECP so far , and while that ’ s not even a tenth of the whole trail , I am constantly amazed by how diverse it is . I thought I would eventually get tired of hiking the coast , staring at the sea , but I haven ’ t . It is so dynamic . The tides change , the clouds skate across the sky , the whole sea gets moody and dark and then in an instant , the light shifts and everything is different colors . It ’ s incredible .
The order of assembly of a cup of tea is something many British people take very seriously . I discovered this when I was dating a Brit and tried to make us tea . He cried out in horror when he saw me tipping the milk jug toward mugs that still contained their tea bags , and literally shouted , “ WHAT are you doing ?!!?!?” as if I were about to set the house on fire . In spite of this , he remains one of the finest of my few British friends . ( I remain terrified of making tea for British people .)
Winter 2024 – 25 OUTDOOR FOCUS 21