32
MAY/JUN 2019
33
A SNAKE IN THE WOODS|
THE TUMALO SNAKE-RUN RALLY BY SAM GOLDBERG-JAFFE
Robert Clark aka Surfin’ Bert knockin
knee through the mini gap finish line
P: Galen Tracy
P: Galen Tracy
their way up the hill and spent the next two
hours patiently waiting for their turn and
carefully eyeing the competition. Onlook-
ers sat in the snow watching and cheering,
with Mt Bachelor looming in the backdrop.
It was a pleasure just to see the art of
turning a snowboard alive and well in the
Central Oregon Cascades.
After the last rider dropped, we packed up
the flags and headed back to town. Awards
were held on the sunny banks of the De-
schutes at Bend Brewing Co. Participants
traded stories from the day and enjoyed
some beers. The event organizers kept
with their wildcard mentality and opted for
margaritas. In the Cheryls division, third
place went to Laura Winberry who took
some heavy slams in practice. Wilma Wi-
bom and Veronica Perfilyeva both boasted
an identical time of 24 seconds and first
and second place trophies were decided by
an arm wrestling match. In a strong battle,
Wilma took the victory and Veronica was
awarded second. Word was going around
that Wilma may have slightly brushed her
face against a tree on her second run, so
the victory was well deserved.
Justin Forster off the line at Foxtail Bakeshop and on the line down the course. P: Will Stevenson
It was a breezy 29 degrees and bluebird in the Dutchman Flat parking lot at 7:30 am
as Brian Zager, Will Stevenson and I excitedly put on our boots. The Three Sisters were
gleaming in the morning light as we sipped on hot coffee in the shade. The snow was
firm from the night before and we began to crunch our way up the bootpack toward the
course, led by young guns Elijah and Rowan. Names and high fives were exchanged
amongst strangers in this small pack of early risers as we continued up the side of
Tumalo Mountain. The sound of snowboard edges harshly scraping into ice was the first
thing we heard before we even popped out into the burn zone where the Tumalo Snake
Run Rally would be held. We finally caught a glimpse of the course in time to see Jonny
Sischo barreling his way around the final turn, knees bent in a compact ball of speed. He
unstrapped, turned around with a grin and exclaimed, “Mornin Bills!”
Brian and Jonny have been outspoken about their love for banked slalom events since
their first appearances in the Dirksen Derby, so naturally when they were given the op-
portunity to create their own grassroots banked slalom race, they jumped at the proposi-
tion. The two sat down and decided on the secluded location, an instagram account was
created, and Brian designed the logo. Tumalo Snake Run Rally was now a reality. After
many long days of building, a near melt out, extensive course testing and plenty of safety
proceedings, the course was ready for race day. The fourteen tight turns snaked their
way down about 600 feet of ponderosa pine and uneven volcanic terrain. As the crowd
began to trickle in and eye up the course there was plenty of nervous chatter and wide
eyed smiles. “It will be great when it softens up,” was commonly heard. Despite the under-
lying warning, some anxious boarders wanted all the practice they could get and hiked
up the boot pack to brave this icy death trap. Carnage ensued. I watched formidable
snowboarders get bucked out of berms onto the hard and uneven snow. Most of them
appeared to get up with all smiles and whoops from the onlookers. By 10am there had
only been a handful of successful runs.
By 10:45 the course was still fast and and firm, but temps were rising and the morning
sun was baking the course to perfection. Riders like Chris Luzier, Destry Serna and Justin
Forster had figured out the course and could be seen gracefully zig zagging their way
down the wiggle, and popping out at the bottom to a cacophony of cheers. Racers now
The “Shoulda-Coulda-Wouldery” getting the best of the author. P: Will Stevenson
In the Bill’s division, Iain Smith powered
his way through the course without a bobble and took third place, but donated his prize
back into the raffle. Karma must have been on his side because he had the winning ticket
for the one-of-a-kind Snoplanks powder board with a custom snake run graphic by Brian
Zager. Second place went to Jeff Blaylock, who was smooth as butter on both of his runs.
Even with a respectable first run he came back for run two with a vengeance and posted
a blistering time of 19.5 seconds. The winner of the day was Dimitri Bales, who jumped
into the start gate like he was about to gap onto a kink rail in the streets. He ripped his
way down the course like a bat out of hell in his white bike helmet and posted an 18.85
second time for the win.
Destry Serna, always powerful. P: Will Stevenson
knew it was time to commit and give the course all they had. Another hour of exciting
practice turned into what felt like a party. Friends encouraging one another, trading tips
and just figuring out how to maneuver the “hell ride”.
Around noon a motley crew of crusty skyliner lot lizards, hardened locals, snowboarder
kids, a few incongruous skiers, and some sunbathers gathered at the bottom of the
course for the riders meeting. 50 men and women came out to ride the course. Jonny
informed the masses of the event rules. Each rider would get two runs. Missing a gate
would mean disqualification of that run and helmets were required. The group ambled
In recent years, grassroots snowboarding events have been popping up all over the world.
Banked slaloms, carving contests, hand dug halfpipes, and skate bowl inspired land-
scapes are just some of the events that began in the daydreams of snowboard lifers and
materialized into annual events. Style is now being appreciated just as much as trick dif-
ficulty. One’s taste in snowboarding is truly subjective and there are many folks who would
prefer to see someone lay out a carve than huck a double flip. These types of events are
not only opening up snowboarding to a greater audience, but giving riders of different
skills sets the opportunity to ride new and interesting terrain. A few days after the Tumalo
Snake Run Rally, local pro Josh Dirksen (no stranger to fast turns and stylish carves)
reached out to Brian. He offered spots in the Dirksen Derby to the podium finishers, of-
ficially recognizing this grassroots race as a qualifier for his fabled event.
Congrats Bill and Cheryl! The Tumalo Snake Run Rally was one of the best days of snow-
boarding I have ever had. “Best day ever!” may be an overused phrase these days, but you
will have to come race next year and find out for yourself.
Brain buckets were required.
Conner Turney using the rule
to his advantage.
P: Will Stevenson