14 | OutBoise Magazine | NEWS
Small Town Gay
OutBoise.com | Issue 1.2 | November 2014
Story by Ezikiel Coy
It was almost 16 years ago that I came out to
my family. It wasn’t long until the rest of the small
town I lived in knew as well, which was challenging in my younger years. While the bullying and
homophobia I endured was challenging, I have
taken the time to reflect on those experiences and
attempt to understand what the silver lining on
that dark cloud could be.
I remember my best friend at the time confronting me while I was walking home from work one
summer day. We hadn’t spoken in almost a full
year since he found out that the small town rumor
mill got it right (for once). After a bit of verbal assault, and an attempt to run me over with an ATV,
I flew home feeling more isolated and alone than
ever.
It was another 4 years from that moment that
I had the confidence to make any long term
friends; let alone have the self-assuredness to
build any lasting romantic relationships. I felt utterly crushed because of the amount of rejection
that growing up surrounded by all that negativity
instilled in me.
Then, something amazing happened. I realized while speaking with other members of the
gay community that my experience wasn’t the
only one. Adversity is something that binds us all
together. It is a sad fact that many of us share a
history of being assaulted, abused,
Degraded, and generally misunderstood for being gay.
We have had corporations like Chick-Fil-A, Hobby
Lobby, and various religious and political groups
hurt us with their rhetoric and their defamation.
Yet, we are not broken. We have shown the world
our solidarity through Pride, the Add the Words
campaign. Having local businesses support our
causes, and by standing together with friends,
allies, family, and each other is so much more
important to creating the environment and security that our community needs. This indelible spirit is
what guides our community to be open, accepting, and free of bias. It is more important than ever
on the new frontiers of our civil rights movement to
come together.
Humans are only mortal, and we make mistakes.
This was a revelation that I had at the startling age
of “young,” when I realized that the homophobia I
grew up with in a small town of Idaho was external
to me. It made me feel… things. Many of the emotions I was processing at the time I am sure you all
have had.
Depression, rejection, outrage, it made me feel
singled out, cold, humiliated, and lower than
trash. Thanks to a welcoming community with new
found sense of self and purpose, my life has turned
around in a way that so many young men and
women need in order to survive these trying times.
Need Advice? Ezikiel is also a professional
Tarot reader, Spiritual Healer, and Priest, and
is OutBoise’s resident Advice columnist.
Email him at [email protected]