22 | OutBoise Magazine | NEWS
Let Me Be Me
By Bonnie Davidson
Photos by Kallie Snyder-Burks - Kaperture Photography
A journey starts with one single step. This journey could have literally started with those first
steps taken by a young baby. There are still
many questions unanswered for those who are
transgender. Why are they the way they are,
how do they learn to fit in? For a local Boise family it’s been a learning curve each year, each
month and each day, it takes them another step
down a journey that they aren’t always ready
for.
Tim Trantham explained that for him the transitions in his young 13-year-old daughter’s life
weren’t easy. He’s been learning every day. He
explained that even at a very young age, his son
at the time, played with Barbie’s, wore capes
and towels for dresses. He said that he thought
maybe his son was gay at a very young age, but
dealing with transgender issues just freaked him
out. He tried to discourage his child from what
was coming naturally.
“I thought I wasn’t enough, me, myself as a
manly influence,” Trantham said.
OutBoise.com | Issue 5.2 | March 2015
He and his wife split early on and he wasn’t
at home with his daughter on a daily basis. He
had hopes it was just a phase that maybe his
child would grow out of. He was left confused
and frustrated not knowing how to deal with the
issue.
Deija ‘DW’ Wiona Trantham explained that as
far back as she could remember she was just a
little girl. She didn’t really understand something
was different until she had to go to school. She
thought all girls had penises and when she started to go to school at the age of 5 she became
very confused. She learned that she wasn’t going to be accepted by everyone. She wore her
hair long and dressed much more feminine than
the other boys. That’s when the bullying began.
For her learning to accept the image in the mirror was a large challenge by itself, but the rejection of others made things harder.
“Bullying has been a big part of my life on the
negative scale,” DW said. “I’ve been beaten
up on a daily basis, in second third and fourth
grade, living with my mom in a small town.”
Teachers always tried to encourage her to be
the “right” gender. She was told she couldn’t
wear girl clothes. Being so young she didn’t really
know how to voice what was going on, only that
she knew something wasn’t right. She was a little
girl. One day a friend of the family gave her a
book about being transgender. DW said it was
a book that changed her life. At such a young
age she was relieved to finally have a word for
what she was going through. Transgender.
Living with her mom was becoming a challenge. Her mom was fighting her own demons
and then she was forced to go to a school in
Idaho Falls that required school uniforms. They
forced her to cut off her hair, to dress like a boy
and she said that she felt like she wanted to
die. DW explained that she was trying to live
the ideal that everyone enforced on her and
that it was hard wearing a mask every day
to portray that image. She felt trapped and
alone.