America’ s First Leprechaun
The first Leprechaun to ever step foot on North America soil was Flannigan O’ Flumm with the St. Brendan expedition in 900 A. D. Better known as Flanny Flumm, he was a stowaway of course and planted his first pot of gold in what is now the state of Indiana in Brown County near Nebo Ridge on top of Browning Mountain, or under Lake Monroe, or out by Bean Blossom, Trevlac, Helmsburg, or Bellsville. The Rune records ain’ t all that clear on the particulars. Pots of Flanny’ s could be in all them places and probably are according to my tourist treasure maps I sell.
Back in Ireland Flanny had been a snake-oil salesman by profession. It was T. Patty himself who ruined O’ Flumm’ s career by removing the serpents supply leaving him little choice but immigration. Although discovered on board St. Brendan’ s curragh soon after leaving the Emerald Ilses, he was, however, a Leprechaun and so his ability to produce pots of gold at the end of rainbows could finance the entire expedition. Of course, if there were no rainbows in America he was a goner— unless there was snakes.
Many undecipherable Runes found throughout our Brown County describe vividly
Flanny’ s adventures and can be seen scratched on our hills and valles. He was Nashville’ s first in our long unbroken line of snake-oil salesmen and the first to introduce green alcohol to the Indians. He etched instructions for makin’ apple butter and deep-fried biscuits for Johnny Appleseed and Abe Martin in that order. Salt Creek and the State Park was originally his ideas and Gnaw Bone and Stone Head based on several of his peculiarities.
Although some claim as a Flumm, he went native, the pot of Wannabe Indians can trace their philosophical lineage to his unfulfillable aspirations. Why there’ s no limit to our indebtedness to his influences both small and wide. There are even rumors around he turned sunshine into moonshine still. March 17 th is celebrated hereabouts as the day O’ Flumm vanished, or was banished, depending how them Runes is read. But the question often asked the Flumm family is how did he get to Brown County in the first place and why? Well he found it of course the same way all them famous artists did centures later. Our Brown County is the other end of the rainbow! •
— Gunther Flumm
54 Our Brown County • March / April 2020