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SPRING FORWARD continued from 38
once back in the horse-power days it might have fooled a plow mule and gotten another furrow or two out of him. These days agribusiness deploys high tech, GPS satellite guided tractors with what looks like passenger jet cockpits. Those suckers can run on auto-pilot all day and night.
“ What about the factories?” you might ask. I’ ll tell you what about the factories. What ones are left are gonna do what they have always done— turn on the lights. And as for the rest of’ em... well, I haven’ t researched whether Mexico or China have become daylight savings enlightened yet.
What about the railroads? How do you incorporate DST in interstate railroad schedules? I can’ t see anything but trouble coming for the unwitting engineer coming in from a state with better sense. I can just imagine the utter destruction at state lines where railroads cross. At least the carnage would be limited because Indiana doesn’ t have a thriving passenger rail system.
What DST does for me is it disrupts my circadian rhythms, interrupts my sleep, makes me too late or too early for appointments, and sullies my otherwise sunny disposition. I worry that it will have a negative impact on my popularity quotient. However, living back in the woods seems to have its own impact on my social proclivities.
So, who is benefitting from Daylight Savings Time? To paraphrase the famous exhortation from the“ Watergate” follies of the 1970s— follow the daylight. Like Sherlock Holmes said,“ When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” My investigations led me down two paths that eventually merged— the statehouse and the golf course.
I figure with DST the golf courses get to stay open later. That means that with some luck a person could get in 18 holes and still get supper at a reasonable hour. That works out pretty good for our lawmakers being that a pretty good percentage of’ em are golfers. After a hard day at the desk they like to retire to the links to unwind and let their minds off the leash so that they can generate great ideas like Daylight Savings Time.
It is but a short side jump from politics to my second topic, mud.
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