In 2011, we discovered I was pregnant with a miracle baby. I had been told I wouldn’t conceive
naturally, so it was a very thrilling shock! With so much excitement, many plans were made, and
dreams were had .. but unfortunately after a week long stay in hospital all my dreams were shattered, as my little baby was born, still at just 6 months along.
There are no words to describe the grief you go through when your precious baby comes home in a
coffin. I actually have no idea how I managed to get through that time, the summer of 2011/2012 will
forever be a blur to me. So much disbelief – how did this happen to me ? I did nothing wrong, there
was no reason. “Just bad luck”. There was anger, denial, guilt, despair, sadness, and more anger… and just a huge empty space where my baby should have been.
You don’t ‘get over’ losing a baby. You get through the initial grief, then you learn to live with the loss.
You find ways to get through each hour, each day, then each week.. and as the months and years pass, you still have days where you need to get through each hour, but the rawness of the grief fades a little. It can however hit you out of the blue, knocking you for a six.
For me “Just bad luck” just didn’t cut it – there must be a reason – babies just don’t die. It turns out 1 in 4 do. The numbers are crazy. And yet, no one talks about it. Baby loss is still very much a taboo
subject.
The loss of my baby, Koby, lead me to finding new passion in life, in the form of my business, named
after him. It allowed me to create jewellery and keepsakes with his name on, and the names of other
babies, that hopefully bring their families some comfort. Out of my grief, came passion and hope and a
way forward.
My business enables me to ‘do something’ to parent Koby, to keep his memory alive. Creating baby loss jewellery, is heart breaking. However – ‘doing something’ for your baby is really important – as is talking
about them and saying their name, including them in your life.
My business, also allows me to help increase awareness – get people talking. Sharing my story not only
helps me, but I know it helps others – I receive regular messages from people who have found my blog
and website, and have found comfort in my story. It also allows me to fundraise for this important
cause. Please check my facebook page for details – the auction will begin on Wednesday 11 October,
and finish on Sunday 15 th October, Baby Loss Awareness Day. The auction will feature an amazing
collection of products from small NZ businesses, all starting at $1 reserve!
www.facebook.com/KobyJames.designs
Fundraising for :
Bereavement Room for Auckland - https://www.facebook.com/groups/acuddletoremember/
Casting in Rotorua - https://www.facebook.com/pixiedreamscasting/
KJdesigns Memorial Collection : https://www.kjdesigns.net.nz/category/KobyCollection
Keeping Koby’s memory alive
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Written by Suz Coram-Stanley