On The Path - November 2013 | Page 20

The Growing Edge

Use Your Big Girl Voice

Ifirst heard the expression from Ginny Robertson during the 30-second introductions at the On Purpose Networking and Connections over Coffee meetings. Those five one-syllable words had a big impact on some women in the group but it wasn’t always positive.

I asked Ginny what it means to “use a big girl voice”. She told me it means speak with confidence. What I observed was that some women really started to feel vulnerable and I believed many of them, like me, had been silenced in various ways when they were little girls.

As a little girl I was taught to use an “inside” quiet voice in an enclosed space and an “outside” louder voice when outdoors. I was also taught that ladies never raise their voices; children shouldn’t disagree with elders and to speak only when spoken to. I certainly have many memories of the punishments I received for using my voice. My biggest offenses were talking back to my parents, talking under my breath, speaking disrespectfully to elders and talking in class.

Ironically, there were teachers and a public librarian who encouraged me to use my voice by speaking during various school and church events. I learned that it was only okay to use my voice when I was on a platform but I was to be “seen and not heard” everywhere else. As an adult, I’m more comfortable speaking in public than having one-on-one conversation.

So when I saw these incredible women shrinking at the networking meeting, I considered that if they never had the experience of developing their voice as a little girl, they have nothing to draw from for a big girl voice. Fortunately, Ginny creates such a safe, loving space at the meetings so those women felt comfortable enough to give it their best shot anyway yet few reached any measurable level of confidence. I wanted to change that.

I began to think about the training I received as a little girl and I understood that I had learned some practical tools that could help others. When I realized that the little girl inside can support you when you set an intention to develop a big girl voice, “Use Your Big Girl Voice: Speaking in Public with Power, Poise and Passion” was born.

by LaVonne Sumler

In the Jan/Feb edition of “On The Path”, I’ll give you 7 practical tips for speaking in public with confidence.