On the Coast – Over 55 Issue 33 I January/February 2020 | Page 20
new year
Stepping into our
wisdom
O
ne of the best things about the
New Year is the last one is done.
Over. We have a fresh slate. We
can start again anew. Or so we like to
think. If only!
Perhaps the New Year represents just
more of the same; a continuum of every
other year; a seamless path forwards. I
hope not!
I am truly excited that this New Year
is the year 2020. How long have we been
projecting out into the far away future
the thought of 2020? When I had my last
baby, 2020 was the year I imagined him
turning 18 and completing school! I can’t
believe it is here!
And, as a wordsmith, what is also
exciting and tickling my fancy is that I get
to mangle my metaphors and play with the
notion of the phrase 2020. And it got me
inventing a new game in my head that I
want to invite you to play. Let’s play 20-20.
Ok, let me elaborate. You know the
saying, “hindsight is 20-20 vision”, well,
one of the benefits of becoming a society
‘elder’ is we get to accumulate a lot of
hindsight. Those who are privileged to
move into the senior years can choose to
engage their 20-20 vision and activate
their wise one.
So the game 20-20 is about activating
your wise one. The game goes like this.
As you reflect on your life, not just this
20
ON T H E C OA S T – OVER 5 5
BY SARAH TOLMIE
last year, but if you were to include the
reflections of the many years preceding,
ask yourself these questions:
What do I know for sure?
What are the most important habits
that keep me well and happy?
What has helped me most through the
hard times?
What times in your life truly “tested
your mettle,” and what did you learn
from dealing (or not dealing) with
them?
What do you think the world needs
more of right now?
What do you wish you could gift the
world?
What do I wish most for my loved ones?
These questions are not to be confused
with the usual New Year’s review that
nudge you to create a set of resolutions,
but the intention is to generate a deeper
investigation into the wisdoms life has
gifted to you. Through the good times,
the tough times, in sickness and in health,
for richer for poorer...to steal from my
celebrant repertoire...your experience
and survival means you know things,
really valuable things.
Wisdom is a certain kind of
knowledge though; it is a knowledge that
only has currency and value when it is
lovingly transferred across generations
and shared.
So the other part of the game is to
share your 2020 wisdoms. Pass it on. Gift
it to the generations below you.
Now the trick and challenge of this
game is not to come off as a boring ‘know
it all’ wistful for how your generation
was better than the emerging one, but
an engaging sage upon whose every
word drips gold that can be mined for
improving life in the today. Now that just
made the game a bit tougher, eh?
My mother, in her mid-seventies now,
is the resident wise woman oracle to me
and many of my girlfriends. Her wisdom
is deep. It comes from experience and
being in the world. Her secret to dishing
out the wisdom is leading with a curiosity
about the experience and happenings of
others and caring to enquire about what
is important in their lives right now. She
asks great questions and immerses herself
in the real and nitty gritty of another
as the starting place from which she is
invariably asked to naturally gift counsel
and offer clarity.
Just as in the game’s structure itself,
knowledge becomes wisdom by the
use of transformative questions. It is
not stating what we know, but using
what we have experienced to provide
perspective on an issue that has no
easy answer. Wisdom requires bringing
empathy and recognising our common